Hey October, Settle down!

C'mon, its only the 6th!

I have about 6 un-started, unfinished, or un-posted blog entries right now. I simply can't keep up. These are the times I am glad I turned blogger because its just a blur of crazy. When I started this a couple months ago I wanted it to be just about the kids. But as it turns out I write about everything. I always have but now I have this publish button taunting me. Its saying "go on, speak your mind. Even when people could care less about that crap" I'm gonna go ahead and keep on posting. It makes me feel better. Kids are still great though. 

Let's recap some of this madness, shall we? 

Tues Oct 2

Hot Doctor.

I had my ENT appointment with Hot Doctor to discuss my thyroid nodules. Turns out they aren't really cause for concern, they just happen when you get older for no good reason. (groan) I have two that are relatively small and the same size.If they are bigger that's a problem, if they are 2 different sizes, that is a problem, if there is one big one, that is cause for concern. So nothing has to be removed or autopsied. That's good. I am in the clear for another year. That's also good. 

You know when your kids says "mom mom mom mom" and then tell you something really important? Yeah, me either.

 "Mom mom mom mom mom! Look I'm an Asian Lady."

"Dad just can't decide WHAT to order!"

"Mom mom mom mom I was doing my chores but I had to make this Lego thing real quick. Look, its you and dad ordering breakfast. I made sure you had your coffee cup first."

Loopy went into work around 11pm that night to help with a deployment. This is why he is quitting. Things like that happen ALL the time. I am not sure what time he got home. It was after 2 when I went to bed. I'm really quite over it all. 

Oct 3

Wednesday morning Kendal had a fever and was complaining that her ears hurt and had too many boogers. She was still crabby at night So I made a mental note to call her doctor.

That night I got the  Best. News. Ever.. And I was pretty giddy. 

This was also day 13 of Ben missing. That was not happy at all. 

Overwhelmed by mixed emotions I just wanted to sleep and make Friday get here sooner so I could relish in the happy of a new job. Insomnia won and I have no idea when I passed out. It was after 3:30...

Oct 4

This day started out fabulous! I love having a newly potty trained toddler. Now every time I have to use the bathroom she comes with for support and jumps up and down yelling and clapping. "YOU DID IT! YAY!!" Then hands me toilet paper and reminds me to flush and wipe the seat, "Just in case." Sometimes I even earn an M&M! I called Kendal's doctor and made an appointment for that afternoon. She got a sucker for being good while they checked her ears, she got a balloon for being good (ish) when they swabbed her throat, she got a tattoo for begging for stickers. She has a virus that will work itself out. Not strep, no ear infections.

After Kendal's appointment we went to get Logan. The kids were playing games on the computer just lovin' on each other. Kendal just up and smacked Logan across the face and he started crying.
She said "Are you sad because you popped that red balloon?"
He said "No, I'm sad because you hit me in the FACE! That wasn't very nice"
She said "Oh, I guess that a bad idea. I sorry Yogan"

Loopy came home from work and felt awful. I am pretty sure it was nerves about putting in his notice at work the next day. He went to bed Kendal passed out early. Feeling nervous for him but quite happy that tomorrow is D-Day for his boss, Me and Logan sat down for mac n cheese dinner (3 Cheese shells, the best!) Then April's mom called. 

April and Ben

She told me that they found Ben's body. I can't explain that feeling. He had shot himself and was in his parents backyard. IN THEIR BACK YARD!! For 2 weeks he was right there. I wrote a blog that night but I can't bring myself to post it. There are so many questions. But above all else how could he do that to his daughter and put that burden the woman he loved with all his heart? People say suicide is the easy way out. I know that it can't have been easy for Ben. He had so much to live for and so many people to love him. It just doesn't make sense. And it is selfish. Fuck heroin and everything about it. Anyway, to read more about that. Go read HERE.

Oct 5

I spent the whole day pacing the house, chugging coffee, and checking my phone to make sure I didn't miss any important messages. I was waiting to hear about funeral arrangements and autopsy reports. I was desperate to hear that he finally got the chance to quit the job that makes us miserable. I wanted to hear some good news and it was taking FOREVER. 

At one point I decided to take a shower and pass some time. As always, I turned around and Kendal was standing naked at the shower door. She took a shower too. That didn't take long enough, so I decided to straiten my hair. Then my hairdryer burned up 1/2 way though the job. Now my hair was half strait, half curly and smelled like fire. Awesome. 

Kendal decided to pass the time by painting some beautiful rainbows. On the blinds. That was ok, cause cleaning it up gave me something to do.

(Content edited, not by me. lets not go there)

I posted the news that Loopy put in his 2 weeks notice on facebook KNOWING there would be much rejoicing I set Loopy down in front of the laptop to watch the congratulations, support and 'likes' pour in. We celebrated our asses off for the rest of the night. Even the kids were dancing and laughing .It was like they KNEW we were relieved. Usually on a Friday night they would be keeping to themselves and sulking around the house. Because that's how WE feel. There was much rejoicing. 

This is our happy celebration song. Its perfect. 

Loopy went over to Ian's to celebrate and I got a text that Ben has been identified and cause of death was confirmed a suicide. I am headed to MI on Wednesday. I was up until 3am making reservations and booking flights.

And so it goes.