Site Metrics and Web Analytics by NextSTAT Why Kids Are Great: April 2013

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Sometimes this is hard

Parenting isn't always easy. 

Most people will say "yeah, obviously things aren't always snuggles and squeals of laughter." But there is more to it than just regular parental frustrations and patience testers. Its more than having too much to do all day every day while raising respectful and well behaved small people. There are times when they will throw you for a loop and do a complete 180. There are times when we are just at a loss for what to do. 

Here's what I mean

For 6 years I had a mostly well behaved sweet caring boy that occasionally needed redirection or maybe a little discipline to keep him in line. He still is a smart, sensitive loving boy that lives for hugs and kisses and cuddles. That hasn't changed. What HAS changed is his serious lack of impulse control.


We can get into a rough house tickle fight and he is laughing and happy. Then he gets TOO rowdy meaning he starts smacking or hurting you instead of being silly. Then in that excited state he doesn't calm down or listen when asked to stop. It has been that way for a long time. I don't like being hesitant to laugh and play with my kid because there is a good chance it will go down hill. 


Our more recent and serious issue is uncontrolled frustration that leads to screaming, crying and acting out. If something (ANYTHING) doesn't go the way he anticipated it is seemingly impossible for him to accept that. Instead of telling us what the problem is he stands there and yells. Sometimes "STOP IT" or "MOOOOOM" OR just yelling incoherent words. Talking won't calm him. Reason won't calm him. Sending him to his room will eventually calm him but not until it gets MUCH louder. This happened his first day at the new school because he thought the teacher would introduce everyone in the class. She did not because that is not her style. She has been teaching for 27 years. I am not going to argue with her method. He cried loudly for 2 hours and was sent to the guidance counselor. What am I supposed to tell the school when they call me? That is just an example. The frustration fueled freak outs happen daily for various reasons.. 

Just take a dang shower!!

He had been playing in the pool yesterday (more on that in a minute) and was itchy this morning. When we got home from school he was playing in the sprinkler and frankly, he needed a shower. He yelled "I DON'T WANT TO TAKE A SHOWER" right away. I asked him politely again to get upstairs and clean up because he is covered in grass and dirt and bugs. He instantly and loudly argued that there ARE no bugs on him (more on that later) ALL the way upstairs until he was in the bathroom STILL hollering that he didn't want to. I went up to talk to him (trying SO hard not to yell back and be a good Orange Rhino) and turn it on for him. He was trying to tell me he would just rinse off in the sink or take a shower later (in a loud whiny voice) I told him "no. Get in the shower now or you won't have LEGOs when you are done" So he relented by slamming the door. Now he is in there singing away. I hate having to threaten every time.Why won't he just listen? 

Please just agree...

It doesn't matter what the subject matter is, Logan is going to argue.
Me: Hey, your feet are dirty, please rinse them off 
Logan: No they aren't.
Me: Yes, I can see the mud on them, please go wash up 
(I have to take a few deep breaths and not whoop is ass at this point) I always win, don't get me wrong. I follow through with consequences. I hate the arguing. 

Kendal: This is my friend Birdie
Logan: No it's not, its just a hair clip. 
She is upset because she is just pretending because she is 3. He is mad because its not going the way HE thinks it should. 

Loopy: Logan do you know where the remote went because you had it last. 
Logan: No I didn't.
Loopy: You were just holding it! help me find it. 
Logan: I was not. 
Loopy. It's right here next to your hand!

This is new..

We were at a pool at a nice resort where my brother was staying for a conference yesterday. Logan was playing by himself and jumping off a little pylon with a pool noodle. No biggie. I was watching him and once I saw him pop an older guy on the head a couple times. I told him to stop, figuring that he thought it was Uncle Jeffy or Grandpa or something. I went on playing with Kendal on the kiddie pool end. When I looked up again this family was staring at me like I had 2 heads. I waved and saw Logan still playing. Few minutes later this woman comes up to me PISSED OFF and asked if that was my kid. I said yes, why? She told me he keeps hitting her 67yr old mother in the face with a pool noodle. I was a little dumbfounded. That is hard to do by mistake. When he hit the older guy it was certainly deliberate. I apologized and called Logan over. Asked him if he was hitting old people in the face with pool toys. Of coarse he denied it. I sort of believed him because it is out of character for him to mess with strangers and not be respectful. I was caught off guard.  I took his noodle away and gave him a warning. He continued to jump and splash RIGHT next to them even after I went out to play with him and keep a close eye on the situation. I reminded him to watch for people around him ect and eventually the other family moved to the other end of the enormous pool to give us the stink eye. He wasn't being obnoxious while I was with him, just playing. What should I have done?


I asked him later if he was hitting strangers in the pool with the noodle. He said no twice and finally admitted to it but said it was an accident. After more questions he said it was on purpose (I told him there is security footage I can go watch.. gets him every time) I asked if they told him to stop. He said no.. then changed his story. I calmly told him to get changed into his clothes and pack up his pool toys and bathing suit. No more pool for him this week and right to bed when he gets home was the punishment. Of coarse his response was "FINE!! I DON'T EVEN CARE". He will later when he is wearing clothes at the pool and the rest of us are in the water. When he was leaving with Loopy later he said its not fair. We explained WHY its fair and he started yelling and crying again. Do I really need to explain why what you did was so wrong?

So now what? 

How am I supposed to get my sweet agreeable boy back? I am not a fan of spanking. It happens from time to time but it doesn't work for him. It escalates the situation. He needs to calm down and tell me what the problem is and come to a resolution. I can pop Kendal on the butt to get her attention and she's good to go. I can't sit him down and have a serious conversation because he will stop paying attention and ask if he can please go play now, which is also boarderline rude but I can't tell him NOT to ask me if we are done talking, that means he is letting me know he has reached his limit without yelling or getting up and walking away. *sigh

Does it get easier?

I am for real open to suggestions here. There are a lot of changes with a new school, new house, and neighborhood but he insists he's happy and ok with it and having new friends. My friend Susan said Nick (Logan's best friend) was the same way when they moved to FL from GA a couple years ago. She tells me to have a glass of wine and wait it out. (I am now drinking a glass of wine, they are in bed) This too shall pass in a few months. I hope this phase passes quickly because it freakin' sucks!  

Earlier we agreed that if he raises his voice at someone he will go sit in the corner for one minute, take deep breaths, and regroup (more serious offenses get time out upstairs or grounding in his room) We'll see how that goes. 

Any other ideas? 

Monday, April 15, 2013

Getting settled

April 1 

first day of new school and parenting practice

Logan is off to his first day at a new school. Its a little rough around the edges. But everyone there seems to make the best of it. The boy was impatient and annoying through the whole enrollment process (took 1/2 hour or so) Rolling around on the couch in the waiting room, drumming on stuff, pretending to fall off the chairs, humming LOUDLY. He wouldn't stop when I told him to, the mom look didn't work either. Gotta say. I am not too broken up about him starting school again. He'll ride the bus for the first time this afternoon. Stay tuned for how That goes!

Later that morning:
So the school called. Logan was sent to the office for freaking the frack out. He was being disruptive and didn't want to do anything the teacher and class was doing. Perhaps all the change hit him at once? More likely he just realized that everything doesn't ALWAYS go his way and being stubborn/yelling at people isn't going to help. The guidance counselor tried to call my phone, which was on silent.. they got a hold of Loopy and he had to talk Logan off the ledge. First day of new school fail.

Me at the bus stop: Hi Logan! How was your first day!?
Logan: SUPER! I loved it.
Me: Really? Everything went ok then? Cool.
Logan: Yup. I had a super day and met new friends. Its all good.
Me: Glad to hear it

So, I asked my FB friends the following (Already knowing what I would likely do)
a) drop it and pretend that never happened
b) bring it up and ask him if he wants to talk about it
c) bring it up and make him tell me WTH the was all about
d) Let Loopy handle it since he was the one who talked to Logan mid-meltdown
e) both talk to him about how to handle things when they dont go his way
f) other

I went with option C. I asked Logan what happened and why he didn't tell me he was nervous about the new school. (not accusing, just in a 'wonder why' tone) He told me he didn't get nervous until I left and he didn't know anyone. After he got back with his class in the cafeteria he took some deep breaths to calm down and felt better. We agreed tomorrow is a new day and we'll give an extra hug and kiss to get through tomorrow. Also agreed that the freak-out was not the best way to cope with the nervousness.

Makes me sound calm and collected, right?  Truth be told, I was pissed this morning. I sort of wanted to go down there and smack him for over reacting and being a stubborn ass. Luckily.. I opted for good cop this time. You know, just in case something really serious comes up later.

Also. Kendal was worn out by the drama and fell asleep with no pants on at the computer playing Nick Jr.

April 2 

Daddy's girl and more school issues

Kendal is trying to convince Loopy she should go to work with him and she can really be helpful there. He told her no, sorry. So while he wasn't paying attention she tied him to his office chair at the computer. Sneaky child. also, no calls from the school today and Logan got up and out this morning with a smile on his face. Win.

He went back to work and I took a potty break before doing the dishes. When I came back this is what my kitchen looked like. She said she was helping me, and "you're welcome mommy!"

For Christmas Aunt Kris sent this super awesome dinosaur puppet thing. Kendal finds it HILARIOUS! Then  Logan gets all wound up and things escalate quickly. I wasn't going to post the whole video because Logan wasn't wearing pants (naturally) but Loopy said it IS an accurate depiction of 2 minutes of life in this house.

Later that day MY dad called and asked if Logan is ok. Turns out he skinned his knee at school and they tried to call both me and Loopy but there was no answer. SO they called my dad in MI. They wanted to let us know they gave him a band-aid. Neither of us have a missed call so I guess I'll have to double check their emergency info tomorrow
Our evening consisted of daddy-back-rides around the living room

April 3 

Tea spitting and other awesomeness

Kendal puked on the way home from meeting Kari in Daytona today. I am pretty sure it was directly related to the 20oz sweet tea she drank at Krystal. We are going to have to cancel our plans to meet up with the Kyncls at Disney. So bummed. Better make sure a fever/ more puking doesn't happen. She felt all better after a shower and has been playing ever since. I am pretty sure it was the first time she ever threw up and insisted that she just spit out some extra tea a little bit. On a positive not there was no more sickness and Kari gave me a new coffee wall sticky for my kitchen YAY!! 

The Beat-alls is the best Power Puff girls episode ever. I am proud to say that Logan caught all the song related jokes and references. If you have never seen it, you must. If you have seen it, here's a refresher.The jokes and references start at 5:21

Super Awesome Fun Game of the Night: Throwing handfuls of bouncy balls up and down the stairs.

April 4

is there such thing as TOO many educational games?

Kendal lives in a video game. She was looking for her rubber ducky and told me to push the left and right arrows to help her move back and forth. Space bar to jump up and click the ducky when you find it!! This applies to most things. Logan asked me yesterday "Mom, do you think Kendal plays too many games on the computer?" I laughed it off but he might be right...

April 5

Dueling meltdowns and eastern medicine

Kendal was on the floor pouting and crying cause I wouldn't give her chocolate cookies for breakfast. Then she dropped my phone on her face. Her new fatter and bloody lip is still not big enough to earn a cookie for breakfast.

I got out the paints and they were happily taking turns painting away upstairs.. until I had to use the bathroom and sneak downstairs. Not 30 seconds later there was screaming and smacking and "ouch stop it" coming from both of them. By the time I got up there again Kendal was a blubbering mess and Logan was speckled with watercolor. WTF! it was seriously less than 3 minutes!! That escalated quickly. Kendal was put in time out on the couch where she passed out immediately. Logan went to his room where he screamed for 30 min then came down and DEMANDED a snack. He may be having an adjustment issue but this is not going to end well for him.

I will climb into my tall bed (switched to loft bed) with my koala skills. Get this outta the way (her step ladder) 
Putting a basket on her head. "Look mom, I'm a basket case". Indeed!

Karoshi: This is an epidemic in Japan where people are literally overworked to death. There are several documentaries and 100's of news articles. Some people are floored by this concept. I do not find this shocking at all. I've seen the effects of being overworked. Loopy's health fell apart in the last couple years. Tomorrow he tries acupuncture for the first time. Here's hoping this is more effective than endless nebulizers and antibiotics.

Here is something you can't un-see.

You are welcome 

April 6

Busy freakin' day

I started off smiling because Kari woke up and realized that an army of drunken octopus' invaded her bathroom.. She sent me a picture. 

The kids are sitting on the floor snuggling, hugging and giving kisses. I wish we could freeze moments in time so they lasts longer.

It didn't last forever, they ended up wrestling and someone was crying, but I enjoy these sweet times OH SO MUCH!!! 

The kids have been BEGGING to go to the pool down the street. So we suited up (Me and Loopy too, mostly in case we have to save a drowning child) It was COLD. So we invented a game of throw the stuff in the tube.

We decided that was crazy, we should just go to Disney for the evening and get some dinner. It took about 45 min to get to Downtown Disney (another 1/2 hour to park. Spring Break)

 We played with Legos

 Kendal found this giant window display of Dumbo and his mommy. She needed me to take lots of picture of this.

Dinner at Fulton's. Our favorite!

 Then on the way out the kids played under the giant Cirque De Soleil tent for like an hour! It was their favorite part of the night.


This is my kinda Saturday!

For the record, I wrote that post in less than an hour, Its some sort of record and FILLED with typos, errors, date inconsistencies, and for right now.. that's ok with me.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Cha-cha-cha-CHANGES! part duex

Lets DO this!!

March 23. Move day!

I apologize for not taking more pictures this day. We got the kids up and dressed just in time for the movers to show up. And they most certainly DID show up!! We hired a company expecting a crew of 3 guys and a truck. At 9:30 we had 8 big dudes at our door. 

The owner introduced them really fast and I completely lost track. I think there were 8. Before we could really think about what was happening everything we own from the house and garage was on a truck. 

3 hours later and everything we own was loaded into our new house and garage. I went to pick up pizza and beers before they were done. We have a long tradition of pizza and beers for our moving crews. They were gone before I got back. SOOooo we had LOTS of pizza and beers for ourselves!

Logan was pouting in the corner for some reason. They were unloading things so fast that we had to just sit and watch or get run over!

Kendal LOVED moving day! She fell head over heals for a "tall muscley move guy with pictures (tattoos) all over" I forgot to take a picture of them together. She followed him everywhere.
We put down some the padding and large area rug in the living room... It was like a BIG POND!! This called for a rubber ducky.

March 24

Woke up and headed to breakfast at Cracker Barrel before more unpacking! Kendal rode an Elephant-on-a-stick thing around the store while dragging Horton. I am not sure why this is fun. She lost interest pretty fast too!

Logan found his dress up trunk and this is what he came up with. Harry Potter robe and spy glasses. Cool.

I made some good progress upstairs. This is the loft area/play room

 <--- Logan's Room

Kendal's Room ------->

 Not too shabby for the first day. The place is already pretty trashed though because of Kendal's animal collection explosion. Here's the living room.

What is that pile of boxes all about?

That is a mall for the 'Bidels' (Logan's family of imaginary grasshoppers, its a REALLY long story) This is were ALL the empty boxes went for the next week. It got more impressive by the hour.
At some point this day I misplaced the camera. So I didn't take pictures of the evening festivities of seeing what bounces the highest down the stairs (large exercise ball) and what makes the most noise (62 marbles)

March 25 (and day 1 of spring break)

More than 1/2 the boxes are unpacked and put away. Kendal is excited like its Christmas. Every time a box is empty she throws it down to Logan, takes my hand and pulls me out to get another 'box of surprises'  Logan made a mall out of 28 (so far) empty boxes.. In the living room. Kendal was the first to fall down the stairs. She is ok.

Interwebs are back up and running. YAY!! Only about 5 boxes left in the garage. Those contain decor and office stuff. WOO HOO!! Now to break down the box-mall in the living room or leave it for a day? For the record, all the Lowes boxes came out damaged, I recommend home depot boxes, the have held up through 2 moves. Thinking we might take a family break and head to the local park. Where the hell is my camera?

Found Camera on my nightstand. This is today's photo update:
one tired boy

Bidel Mall 3000
Box house with mailbox and sunroof

1/2 kitchen and office progress
Other side of kitchen! Coffee pot is unharmed. 

Loopy's little office nook in progress
Our room in progress

Need front hall storage solution, ASAP

March 26 (day 2 spring break)

Lost the camera again. I wish I had it right now because the kids are playing together and belly laughing and I want to take a video. The big dog tent is in the living room and they figured out how to launch things at each other. I'm drinking coffee and hanging pictures on the wall. I still don't have any family photos. Ironic, cause 1/2 my friends are pro photographers. Rock paper scissors for who gets to do our very first ever family pics? Loopy wants an unbiased 3rd party that we don't know. We'll see what happens.. if anything.

My daughter needs a freakin' Prozac! She's happy and laughing and playing then BAM!! Raging crazy person throwing punches and kicking everything. Then nervous laugh back to crying ball of sad. She's seriously on an emotional roller coaster. Biggest meltdown was because I wouldn't let her eat fruity pebbles on the couch. Today was a bad food day for her so I told her she could have milk before bed. When I came downstairs there was a gallon of milk and bottle liners on my spot on the couch. Hint taken.

March 27 (day 3 spring break)

This morning I called Brighthouse, Palm Coast Utilities, and FPL. Total time spent on the phone was less than half hour. That has to be some sort of record. I talked to a human at each location and got utilities scheduled/turned off at the old house. 

This afternoon we made it to the Mall where my kids cheered like Amish people exploring electricity for the first time while on the escalators. 

Then to target with NO meltdowns. Also, these bungee chairs that we always just walk passed are AWESOME!!

I also started putting pictures up because bare walls make me nervous. 

March 28th (day 4 spring break)

This is relevant no matter what town we live in. The difference is that now there are NEW people who aren't used to my kids and their lack of pants.
Neighbors are starting to come around and eyeball the house.. like they are checking us out before they come up to the door. Kendal can usually be found in the front picture window, nekked from the waist down waving. *sigh.

March 29 (day 5 spring break, YAY!!) 

I wish it was warmer and we could have enjoyed spring break more. We are just on each other's nerves at this point. 

Today's fight was because Logan didn't want to take a shower, it makes a weird noise. So I told him to take a bath but he never turned off the water. I caught it about 2 inches before overflow all over the upstairs bathroom. Kendal's meltdown of the day was because she wanted candy for breakfast at 8:30 am. She yelled about it for 1/2 hour straight. TGIF.

For the sanity's sake we decided to take the kids back to the park that evening. 
AND I remembered my camera!
ALWAYS wants to swing
Big kid side of the playground

 Logan becoming Static Electricity Man

Logan electrocuting me with static

 Threw a water bottle behind him, looks like its about to hit him in the head.

Sort of excited.


 Also has a skating rink

You know, for spinning...

And running... 

and falling down...

BURGER FI!! So delicious. 

March 30 (day 6 spring break, so close!)

Logan has been out riding his bike with neighborhood kids for an hour. The family down the street moved here from Palm Coast 2 years ago and were just as shocked to learn that people speak to one another and know their neighbors in other places. I think we'll be alright here.
Food for Easter dinner is bought and ready for tomorrow and we are decorating eggs tonight. Lots of eggs to hide around the house for the morning. I would put some in the yard but the 10 squirrels who live out there would take them before the kids. And you all know how I feel about squirrels...

The next door neighbor's name is Landon. He is 6 and his birthday is the day after Logan's. They are already taking tours of each other's backyards and houses. Landon seemed really well mannered and respectful when he was here for a couple minutes. He has a big swing set outside and we sold our little one to Beth so I'm pretty sure his backyard is cooler but they agreed our upstairs is more awesome. 

March 31 (day 7 spring break; easter. Finally!)

 Easter Bunny was here!!

Finding eggs!

 Best lollipop EVER

 Scowling at eggs? 

Candy distribution. He likes chocolate, she likes Jelly Beans. Match made in heaven! 



Not one big sucker, there are 6 tootsie pops in each one.

Coloring eggs

We can FINALLY wrap up March and start this new life in the new place! 

Change is good, Life is good.