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Friday, September 5, 2014

Who needs a kitchen anyway

On April 7 a water main broke...

Into my kitchen. 

Last blog I mentioned that there was a little flooding situation here. At first I thought my careless husband let my rogue children dump gallons and gallons of water all over the dining room floor. I had to shopvac it up 3 times. Kendal jumped in the 'puddle' and it splashed my face. It was insane.

So this is a timeline of the trainwreck that ensued. 

April 8

I realized that it was infact a plumbing issue and apologized profusely to my family for yelling at them and freaking out about their perceived negligence.

Here is Kendal chatting up the plumber. It reminded me of myself so much when I was a kid. I could never leave the contractors/ plumbers/ builders alone growing up. I had to know EVERYTHING they were doing. 

Apparently the water main broke, normally the pipe would burst outward, but when there was a pinhole leak a couple months ago the guy messed up and put in the wrong size something, anyway, now it was fixed... right?? 

April 9

As far as we knew the problem was fixed. Landlord guy brought over a giant fan to dry out the carpet, that was not the fix I was hoping for, but hey, he tried. And what is more fun than a giant fan? 

To the kids this was a major highlight of the whole ordeal. 

We were excited that it was all better and life was back to normal... 

And then...

April 11

Kendal wanted some cereal that was on the floor in pantry, the box was soggy, so was the other stuff in my food stash, So I started to pull stuff out.

Well shit. There is a bunch of mold growing through the wall in my pantry.

Took a picture and called the landlord.. again. 

April 13

Mr. Landlord attempted to clean it up with bleach and some sort of spray. I let him know this wouldn't fix the problem, but hey, it's not my house. Within 2 days it was WAY worse. I suggested he talk to his insurance company. 

April 19

I am so happy to NOT be a homeowner today. We'll be getting a new kitchen in the next couple weeks! Wall, cabinets, ect. Oooh, maybe new carpet. A mold remediation company came out to inspect the damage. There was moisture detected from the front window all the way through the kitchen and into the dining room. Awesome. Just waiting on the insurance adjuster. 

April 21

Check out my mold colony! Insurance adjuster will be here Wednesday to see if demolition is necessary. I'm gonna go ahead and say yup. Gonna be an interesting couple weeks here.

I had to show the adjuster dated pictures of this nonsense. He was trying to get out of the job saying this was WAY more than 2 days of mold growth. Thank God for excessive documentation!!

We sprayed different kids of mold killer on it a couple times and cleaned it up but it was back within 8 hours. The remediation guys left this beast in front of the pantry door. Not much work gets done over Easter weekend. We spent most of it at Disney parks anyway. 

April 23,

Demo starts on the kitchen Friday morning. I am a little bummed that Kendal's birthday party has to be moved out a few weeks but happy this is getting taken care of quickly. I've been reassured that the kitchen/ work area will be completely sealed off and there will be a air purifier blasting the whole time and for 6 days following demolition, the air will be tested before the quarantine is taken down. THEN the landlord has to get a contractor in to rebuild what is torn up. Let the games begin!!

April 24

Trying to empty my kitchen. There is nowhere to put all this 

Craft shelf. It's the new pantry.
I might lose my shit once or twice these next couple weeks. Be prepared. I hate clutter.

Coffee pot on the nightstand. 
Why isn't this standard practice?

1/2 Kitchen is empty. Just have to move the fridge and a bookshelf. Gotta love multi purpose ikea furniture.

As far as the cabinets? There is damage in every cabinet on that side of the kitchen. So those are right out.

This one is caving in towards the back. That rainsoft system was in when we got here and isn't being used.

Huge thanks to my parents for being awesome and saving us during the next week. We'll be at the Condo if you need me!!  Cypress here we come again! 

April 25

They are here, let the Demolition begin!!

Vamanos Pest control at your service.

Crazy day!


Bottom side of the cabinets/ inside of wall

Making the best of a moldy situation at Jimmy Hula's

April 26

When we skipped town there were 2 giant dehumidifiers and 2 massive HVAC machines there to purify the air. We could not have stayed if we wanted to. The noise was deafening. Because of Loopy's SEVERE mold allergy it was best to leave during the process. 

I hooked the workers up with a house key so they could check on the equipment while we were gone. They put it in a realtor style lockbox on the door. The combination they gave me was 1,2,3,4,5. Seriously? That sounds like the combination some asshole puts on his luggage.
They did not get or appreciate this joke. That is sad to me.

Life is still good.

Getting moved into our home away from home.

Our view for the week. I could get used to being here a week out of every month.

Loopy brought the office with him.

Family love

Skippin stones

We're gonna need more beer.

April 27

Unfortunately Kendal's birthday party was postponed indefinitely. (like... until July) We did decorate and celebrate for her party at the condo. She didn't seem to mind. I am adding all that in THIS post cause the location was caused by the mold fiasco. 

All things considered, I think she got everything she wanted. Including the traditional cookie cake, morning decorations, and an Olaf stuffed animal. 

Then we went to Disney for the day. 

April 28

Monday done right.

Races are intense this week.

Balloon launch competition

Made it to the bushes!

April 30

Logan just came up to me like he's had a revelation...
Logan: Mom, I think I just figured out how to open up a worm hole. 
Me: Really, HOW?
Logan: Well you have to find something that is the right size, like.. that curtain there. Then you find the tiniest opening of a wormhole...
Me: But how do you find that?
Logan: with a microscopic microscope. They are realllly small holes. 
Me: ok... 
Logan: then you pry it open with a knife, just the very tip of it. Then you can reach in with your hands and pull it wide open and climb right in. Bam, traveling through wormholes made easy. 
Yup. Its THAT easy folks.

She's telling me her theory on why an entire colony of fire ants ended up in the pool.

Just keep swimmin... 
Even if a storm is rollin' in.

Backup plan for the afternoon

Roughin' it

May 1

Staying at the resort wasn't ALL fun n games. I got Logan's school work and homework for the week. Here is a sample of his creative writing assignment....

Stupid (a poem)
This clock doesn't tell time, It just says Clock.
This barometer doesn't tell pressure, it just tells stories. 
This thermometer doesn't tell temperature, it tells you what fun it is to be a thermometer. 
Whoever made these things is stupid.

Happy hour. Always a shame when there's half a drink left in the blender. Sorry dad, gotta finish it myself.

Choosing her poison

My Amazing kids

Tonight's entertainment, a luau with fire dancers

May 2

Kids are a little stir crazy. It rained all day and we haven't left the room.

May 4

House update: My kitchen is still missing a few things like a sink... and walls. Waiting on insurance to cooperate with a contractor. We'll be getting all new cabinets and possibly new carpet.. that means I have to take everything(EVERYTHING) on the ground floor and put it somewhere. Upgrades are great but dang, this will be a long month. Landlord came today to check it out and let us know he is trying hard to expedite the process. I have no kitchen sink, 1/2 the cabinets and no dishwasher

May 13 

Contractor is finally coming over to look at our kitchen this evening. Fingers crossed that we get moving on things quickly..

The good news is that the we are getting new countertops because they can't possibly match the old outdated white ones. The bad news is that the insurance company is allocating a whopping $2 (TWO DOLLARS) toward installation of a new kitchen (walls, flooring, cabinets, plumbing, counters, ect) So Mr. Landlord can't afford ALL new cabinets an the carpet wasn't damaged enough to replace. I can't blame him that is absolutely ridiculous.

In order to match the current cabinets we have to send away the faces (front of cabinets/ doors) to be matched from the one company that still has this pattern. Which is apparently on a mountain top in tibet sold by monks... ok, that last part isn't true, but it was S. L. O. W.

May 31

Meanwhile I would like to point out that we have been less than environmentally friendly. We used 100's of paper plates, cups, and plasticware. I have been doing my dishes for a month and 1/2 in a very very tiny bathroom sink. My tub doesn't drain well, so that was right out the window. It. Sucked.

June 7

Dear contractors: you were supposed to come at 9am on friday to install the cabinets and you just didn't. I wasn't upset because It turns out I was at the dr. at that time. But showing up unannounced at 8:30 on a Saturday makes me a little grumpy. Thanks for the heads up landlord, they have already been here for 45 mins.

We are just here to fix the kitchen....
The only amusing part is that the Mexican worker had the shiniest silver hatchet/hammer I have ever seen. It was very Breaking Bad.

I did not take a picture because honestly, I was scared of it.

June 12

Seems like a fine afternoon to get new counters... its storming like crazy outside. And I was about 2 minutes from jumping in the shower. Impeccable timing, boys.

I know that you are working hard, I appreciate that but kindly close the fucking doors. You have let in a swarm of mosquitos that are probably native to a rain forest somewhere. They are enormous and I am having a hard time not losing my shit. Plus, you moved my coffee pot.

And there was much rejoicing...

Wait, you aren't going to hook up the dishwasher, OR the sink?

June 13

Wishful thinking. Plumber will be here tonight or tomorrow,

Fuck. This.
I am SO over doing my dishes in the sink.
My patience has left the building.

June 15

A "plumber" came to finish the sink and dishwasher BUT the landlord took the old sink today (!?) and it had the connectors that we need for the NEW sink. These people aren't not ACTUALLY plumbers and contractors by the way. They are roofers by trade, no idea why they are here doing a kitchen job.
He installed the faucet fixture sideways so it only swiveled to half the sink an turned over towards the counter instead he shrugged like that's ok. I made him fix it twice before he left and he was all pissy. WTF people? So. Over. This. It's been almost 2 months.

June 16

The "plumber" came back to finish with the sink/ dishwasher situation. The first time he tried to leave I turned the sink on and it was steady dripping at the U joint when I filled and emptied the sink. He suggested maybe I don't run so much through at once. I made him fix that. Then it was dripping at the sprayer hose. He tried to tell me that it was just a small leak. 3rd time was a charm. (by the way, he basically knew NO english) He was a grumpy grumpy man when I pointed out that he never installed the shelves in the cabinets.

2 hours later, I let him leave. He never came back.

Our kitchen is officially (Almost) done. Sink is back, Dishwasher is back, (Nearly) everything that was scattered around the house is back in cabinets. New counters are awesome. We rearranged furniture and there is so much space. LOVING IT. I have to get the LL to bring contractors back to tack down the carpet, fix the threshold and install a couple more shelves back into the pantry. SO happy to have some normalcy again.

All said and done the process took just under 3 months to complete. I am still happy to be a renter. I appreciate all the money, hard work, and bitching our landlord has had to sink into this place since we moved in. So far we have gotten a new stove (that only took a couple days, stoves are expensive) A brand new garage door (as the other one krinkled like a soda can on it's own one day) he has fixed many many sprinkler heads, cut the tree branches off the roof, fixed minor things around the house, and more recently the air conditioning issue.. we'll save that for another post.

All bitching aside, he's been an awesome landlord. We still love it here.

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