Meanwhile, in the rest of the house..

MAY. Go.

Since we were gone for Kendal's birthday there were some things waiting for her when we got home. Like this awesome game from Gwampa.


















We got her a bike.. she still prefers her stride bike she got last year, But she tries this one from time to time.

We went to see a Roller Derby for the first time. (am I supposed to capitalize that? I feel like I should)  The kids were super excited. For about 15 minutes.



Kendal took this picture and instagrammed it. They grow up so fast.

Hey, that photographer stole my seat!

Need a pictures or a website? Hire them.
Go here, cause they are awesome.














Logan and Madison playing air hockey.

They were in Pre-K together and her mom is on the PCRD team.

She was too embarrassed to take a picture WITH him.











This girl burst into tears when I asked how her day went. She said all the other kids had ice cream cones and all she wanted was an empty cone but they took it back when she didn't want ice cream in hers. $1.99 for a box of cones made her day better. she filled it with dried pineapple. Poor kid was so sad that they didn't understand.

Zorro was at Tijuanna Flats on Cinco de Mayo.



* I looked it up. el Zorro was actually an Irishman who came from Spain to Mexico and became el Zorro in Mexico.

Whatever. 

He "took our order". He didn't speak much english. I think this guy was Columbian.














We don't need no stinkin' training wheels.

*that's a lie, she still won't ride this bike for more than 2 minutes.













Ice cream Tuesday in north cul de sac. Chandler asked me to take a picture and post it to instagram... and he chose the filter. Kids these days

Kendal HAD to sit by him and it makes him blush. Oh Lordy

I brought Logan lunch at school from Panera Bread.


Then I went to the gym because it was cardio day on the dreadmill. That didn't go well.

Followed by coffee night with Elanie. So necessary.

That cake thing wasn't as tasty as it looks.

I miss coffee time with friends. I wish there were more all night coffee drinkers here.

Family adventures. 

Sun Rail time!

All aboard!

And I mean alllll aboard.  The sunrail was free to ride for the first month. Clearly everyone wanted to take advantage. Standing room only. We were standing on the steps to the upper level. InSaNe. 

The bonus of receiving a melted box of Tag-a-Long Girl Scout cookies in the in the mail is that when you put them in the freezer they turn into 3 or 4 giant multi layered cookies. This completely justifies binge eating a whole row at a time. They were stuck together, I had no choice.

First World Problems:
We just realized that our Disney passes expired yesterday and we can't afford them this year.  Kendal will be so bummed.. AND we had to cancel our Storm Trooper Breakfast reservations for mothers day. 

Mothers day breakfast at Kendal's school.

Taking the Sun Rail to karate!















Uh oh, these 5 cookies are stuck together!










Logan: Knock Knock
Kendal: Who's there?
Logan: Orange. Knock knock
Kendal: Who's there?
Logan: Orange. Knock knock
Kendal: Who's there?
Logan: Orange. Knock knock
Kendal: Who's there?
Logan: Orange. Knock knock
Kendal: Are you annoying orange? Cause this joke is getting pretty annoying.





Sometimes I stay up until 4 am just to get a rant out of my head. Pretty sure I can't publish this one without the approval of the people mentioned. Eventually it will be public ... but man I feel better. I love writing.
*Still has not been published. Don't bother looking for it. It was also one reason that I didn't blog all summer. I couldn't stop dwelling on it. I have forced myself to move on.

I asked my FB friends to send me pictures of their kids' massive messes. I got quite a few and I'll use them in a blog later. (keep em coming) Then this happened.
Heather, I'll see your pre-nap chip mess and raise you 1/2 box of rice on the floor and table during a homework measuring experiment.





Why are there SO many Buddies movies. Air Buddies, Space Budiess, Soccer Buddies, Spooky Buddies, Santa Buddies. Seriously there are 12 of them according to the Disney website. Why make this many movies with such horrible acting and senseless plot lines. Even the dogs have stopped being cute. I wish there was a way to block these things from netflix. On tonight's to do list I'll be rating them all 1 star and hope they stop being offered

Sometimes we are late getting Logan to karate because Kendal has to dress up like Princess Sprinkles as we are walking out the door.











In this month's example of traumatic books my kids choose at the library I present J Rooker, Manatee.

Here's a synopsis of this 30 page 'educational' book:



This is the story of a young Manatee who's mother is killed in a hurricane,

then he is shunned by the other manatees,












 hit and nearly killed by a motor boat (in gruesome detail),













and nearly suffocates.















Finally he gets acknowledged by another Manatee who tries to help him...












until he is entangled in a net. Too tired to go on, he accepts that he's going to die.

Humans from Tampa zoo diagnose him... (described in detail) patch him up, keep him for the public's amusement for about a year while he recovers... mourning the loss of his mother, his entire herd, and his new friend that accepted him at the last minute.













On the last page they release him back into the wild after tattooing him with liquid nitrogen.. At least its a happy ending, right?





Why my daughter is crying:
Wow Wow Wubsy games are no longer on the Nick Jr. website and I am 'refusing' to put it back online for her. You know, because I control these things.

When Logan was about 10 months old he nicknamed my brother Uncle Monkey (in sign language) so this is his thing now. Both kids have a stuffed monkey from him.


Kendal finally got her monkey from Uncle Monkey!

















My monkeys with their monkeys

I come from a long line of resourceful dutchman. This is the card that came with Kendal's monkey. Apparently my dad found a surplus of Christmas cards.

Strange things I've said to my kids in the last 10 minutes:
Kendal, please stop trying to feed rocks to the neighbors cat.

Overheard them looking for scissors in the bathroom..
Me: What are you two doing in the bathroom
Logan: Nothing, Kendal's monkey just died, I have to fix his heart
Me: She just got that, please don't use scissors.
Logan: Its important! His heart is broken and we have to fix it. Kendal, close the door.
Kendal, I can't. I'm in the waiting room. Its dark.







I realized that the school year is coming to an end. So I better get in some mommy time while I still can. So I went to unwind with lunch on the beach.

I also got together with one of my favorite mommy friends so our girls could hang out before the older siblings get out for the summer.

Then we went shopping. Here is Kendal hippie dancing in her new dress.

I said:

If Logan keeps pissing off his sister like this today he's gonna get his ass kicked before lunch.... and not by me.

Scott said: get video. 

Logan got in trouble for yelling at us several times that day. I sent him to bed early because he screamed about doing his chores. He won't talk to me calmly face to face... but he is writing me notes under the door. Seems silly but this has turned out to be a constructive conversation about respect.

 Lol, "what if there is no tomorrow?" Drama much?

Excited about her box car race today!

The parade of cars..

Ready, Set... GO!

She ran her little butt off and came in dead last. 

I have video of her yelling "I'M WINNING!! I'M WINNING!!!!" The entire time. It was adorable. 

The kids found this little guy in the garage. I wondered why mamma bird was squaking in my garage earlier

The boys trying to figure this out

Chandler's idea involved a rope, a basket and the mamma bird helping him into the nest. We decided against that.

Mamma and daddy cardinal are here to sort this out. He's in the neighbors bush now there's a lot of chirping going on.

The previous night's conversation about epic meltdowns did not work. He has been yelling about chores for 30mins. At this point I am hoping the neighbors don't call the police because he's freaking out so loudly. Who knew brushing his teeth would be so traumatic. It should also be noted that "EVERY time he has a good day it gets RUINED!!! " Usually by me.

She calls this mission impossible...

Then we go grocery shopping with a super hero cape on...

About that fitness thing...

 C25K week five complete. I ran 20mins in a row without dying. Thought i might pass out though. People do this for fun?

Kendal graduated from Pre-K. This was a pretty LONG ceremony that involved a wardrobe change. My phone is crap and I haven't located the camera pictures yet. Anyway. Here ya go. 

Also, I get that your kid is awesome and special but it is just rude to sit in the front row and hold up an IPAD for the whole ceremony. Then get right down there on the front step for pictures with said IPAD. 

PSA:

Knock that shit off. 

She had some hat issues. It simply would not stay on and stressed her out. I would have picture of that but IPAD lady was in my line of vision. Moving away from her was impossible. She was moving around.

She was also the mom that got out of her car every day in pick up line to have a conversation with the teachers. I won't miss that.

/Rant

The main reasons I am SO ready for summer vacation to start next week are 

1. I don't have to wake up to an alarm clock and 

2. I don't have to pack lunches for TWO WHOLE MONTHS!!!! I hate hate hate packing lunches. I bought enough lunchables on sale this week to get me through the last 4 days of school. You can judge me if you want.

This morning Logan was all kinds of upset because he couldn't find the wii remote. He tore up the couch cushions, looked under the furniture, in all the drawers. behind the entertainment center.. and was super frustrated. When dad got up to help him it was sitting right on the ottoman in plain sight. his response: "But mom always tells me to look HARDER!!!" 

/facepalm

I was a helper for Logan's end of year awards ceremony and party. I took lots of pictures but I don't know a lot of the kids well enough to post them here. It was fun and rowdy.

Gangam style with Mrs Pace

We usually wait for summer to get Logan's mohawk. This hair was outta control and its close enough to the end of the school year for crazy hair, right?

Passing time "waiting for my brudder to get punk"

Geeked to show his school friends his hawk

Kendal: mom, i want to wear this bathing suit
Me: i have to get dressed first, set it where i can find it.
Kendal: ok! *runs off
Me: ok, lets get ready! Where the heck is your suit?
Kendal: over there! In the dining room
Me: yeah, I'm not seeing it..
Kendal: mom, its right HERE in the chips basket. Where you can go find it.
Me: kids, we don't always have to look harder, that's not what i meant.

Pool days with da neighbors

Logan and Aaleyah. He now openly admits to having a crush on her. This is trouble. 

Then it was mom shenanigan time in Daytona with Kari. 

This guy was a pretty awful street performer. Wtf is that cucumber for?

Unicycle sword juggling was a bit more interesting... 

Bad karaoke at Ocean Deck! Oops wrong drink! That drunk guy's bathing suit makes it look like a nice beachy scene behind us. Nope it's a butt.

We were getting excited about summer. So we tried some backyard camping!

Kendal looks like she is ready to run really really fast. That is just how she stands. 

Grill Master Marlon

Elanie the Fire Starter

Dats a nice fire right der!

Fun day at the pool. Evening grilling and s'mores, now chillin by the fire with Elanie listening to Loopy play acoustic while the boys are in the tent. Girls are dozing on the couch. Love nights like this.

Should be a great summer!

More pool time. Hopefully they'll be good swimmers by the end of summer.

*nope.

One More Day of school!! I jumped out and yelled that at Logan when he walked in the door but it scared the hell outta him and he almost peed his pants, then cried. Ooops.

Then I sat down and stumbled across this fun little quiz.  Yeah. He got all but like one on the list. 

Good News: Kendal was super sad and tired this morning but cheered up when I told her its the last day of school and she can sleep in all she wants for 2 whole months
Bad News: Her teacher told me this morning that they have school on Friday to meet the hour requirement for VPk
SON OF A.....

On the way home from school Kendal told me that a kid in her class was teasing her and said she looks like a ghost. She said it hurt her feelings and they don't think that she's beautiful. So me and Logan listed all the beautiful things about her. Her hair, her smile, her laugh, her face, her, silliness, her arms, feet, legs.. as we were listing things she was checkin' herself out and touching her hair, face, legs ect. Then I said my favorite part is her beautiful personality. She looked around all frantic cause she couldn't find her personality. Logan said it was in her brain. She said "Well good, that is stuck in my head so it can't ever go away or change"
Love her!!

*I inquired about this to her teacher and she misunderstood a game they were playing where they were playing tag and the person who was "it" was a ghost. She did not want to be a ghost.







Told her to go upstairs and put some clothes on. She came down with painted fingernails and jewelry. Why? Cause she couldn't find her elephant slippers. Oook










Fun Fact: If you subject your furby to 2 hours of care bears singing "If you're happy and you know it" and "Ring around the rosie" it will turn into a passive aggressive punk with flames for eyeballs. It also head bangs.

Kendal just came out of her room carrying 2 blankets, 1 fur-real guinea pig,1 giant dinosaur, and 2 water bottles
Kendal: mom, why haven't you gone to bed?
Me: I have some things to do yet, like pack your lunch for tomorrow, why?
Kendal: you seem tired.
Me: were you just hoping to come sneak into my bed?
Kendal: yeah. Its warm.
Me: where are you going to put ALL that?
Kendal: in bed with us.
Me: Nope.
Nice try kiddo. Put her back to bed.







Love on Kendal's last day of school

My breakfast date. 

The photobomber in the back complained about everything the waitress brought him. Logan on the other hand opened all the doors for me and ordered my meal and offered to pay. (I gave him the cash ahead of time to avoid embarrassment) 

This is what I woke up to on the first day of summer. There's a lot going on here...

Evolushun had their first show. It was so good to see Loopy play on stage again. It's been far too long.

Oh what a night. These two are my favorite. 

What happens when the kids get into the dress up box. 

Mom-ism of the day (yeah, they happen) This evening Logan offered to give me a ride to the neighbors on his Flash Rider 360 (like a big wheel that shoots sparks out the back) So to be 'cool mom' I got on the back like I've done before and gave him a little push. He took of across the cul-de-sac and tried to jump the curb. We stopped short and I went head first in a spectacular flailing somersault over the handle bars. Now I have road rash on my chin and arm. He felt REALLY bad. 

Ouchies.

Kendal-ism of the day:

Kendal while taking a bath: Mom, I'm going to make you butterfly juice. Its so delicious and sweet! 

Me: Aw, that's so nice, what's in it? 

Kendal in her sweetest voice: Dead butterflies

Me: oh, um... 

Kendal: Yeah, they are squished and liquefied until they are juice! Here, have a sip. 

Me: mmmm, that IS tasty...

Logan has decided that Ms. Sarah is some kind of goddess and got on his hands and knees to bow down to her then offered to do ANYTHING to entertain or help her every 5 minutes for the rest of the evening. Loopy asked her to come sit on our couch for a day with a list of things he can do. Cause this NEVER happens for us.

Yeah. May in a very large nutshell.