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Monday, May 6, 2013

I have no excuse

My bad

I was going to give you all a long winded excuse for why I haven't blogged in a few weeks. Then I decided that I don't have a good reason other than parenthood. I have been enjoying laziness and having no place to be most days.

Its hard, but getting better!

Last time I posted about Logan completely losing his shit and going crazy from stress or whatever. I super appreciate ALL your suggestions and help and advice! Things are starting to look up and Logan has calmed down quite a bit. We are going to start using a reward system to get us through these last 3 weeks of school. He is SUPER excited. Stay tuned for more on that next week-ish. if I remember to blog... 

Kidisms from the rest of April! 


Logan has been wanting to build a marble roller coaster for about 2 years. SO we went to home depot and got creative!

We ended up with 2 loops,
a triple tunnel, and finish line
Logan: If I was sandman I would wear an Obama wig to give Obama good dreams so he doesn't have nightmares. And every time I would go back to the sand kingdom I'm going to take a limousine.

Me: How's it goin' stud muffin
Logan: Wait, what did you call me?
Me: Stud muffin. Because you were admiring yourself in the mirror
Logan:OH! I thought you called me stud because I like Legos and they have studs. 
He got to say the pledge of allegiance on the school news channel with 2 of his friends. He's so proud of himself.

Watching the boys rock out in the family band. Loopy is playing the slidetar which is a straw strummed across fine tooth comb. Logan is playing the butt-tar which is a long balloon pulled across ones' back and strummed with the buttocks. I would take a video, but Logan isn't wearing pants.

Logan: Help me tie this! 
Me: No, that is a bad idea.
Logan: Why?
Me: Why do *you* think it would be a bad idea to tightly tie a balloon around your neck?
Logan: I don't know. I can't think of anything. 
Me: Because it will choke you. I don't want you to die today
Logan: So.. tomorrow then?

Ms Williams: Logan, stop staring at Jayden and do your work. 
Logan: I'm not staring at Jayden. 
Ms. Williams: Then what in the world are you looking at?
Logan: I'm staring at you!
Ms. Williams: Why you doing that? You should be doing your work
Logan: I am staring at you because you are just so beautiful! 
Ms. Williams: Thank you. Boy, you better start doing your work.
She said it is hard to stay mad at him. Yeah. I get that for sure!!

Logan is crying because his LEGO creation isn't working out the way he wants it to. I told him to go work on it in his room so Kendal doesn't bother him and he yelled "I'LL NEVER MAKE YOU ANYTHING OUT OF LEGOS EVER AGAIN!!" I told him he is over reacting. and he said "I KNOW THAT I AM BUT I AM NEVER GOING TO MAKE YOU LEGO FURNITURE ANYWAY" Then pushed Kendal to the floor. 

Logan came out of his room AGAIN. Instead of freaking out and yelling at him for being up for the 3rd time I asked him what he wants. He started crying and said that he had watched a fire safety video at school and they didn't tell him what to do if his doorknob is hot. He has been worried about this since Monday I guess. So I told him he can open his window or break it if he has to with something big and heavy (he suggested his dictionary, since he doesn't like it) and lay his comforter across the window and climb out or yell for help.

What he was REALLY worried about is that his best friend Elephant will burn up in the fire. SO tomorrow we will take pictures of Elephant to put on his door so the Firemen know who to look for once he is safe.

Me: I'm pretty excited to see my brother tomorrow! 
Logan: Uncle Jeffy? Why?
Me: Well imagine not seeing Kendal for like a whole year at a time. 
Logan looking dreamy: YEAH!! 
Me: Really? You wouldn't miss yuor sister?
Logan: um Noooo! She's a ruckus. Always hitting me and causing trouble.. 
I probably felt the same way when I was 6...

Logan was pissed because I made morning happen again today. But he fell in love and purposed to a new girl today at school. They will be getting married. when they turn 18 of coarse. I think Sa'maisah (the one with the pretty face and big thighs) is going to be jealous. He was mad because the hot tub was too hot and the pool was too cold at the hotel and also mad that I was in the water anyway. 

I am loving this neighborhoody feel. I haven't seen Logan since we were on the way home from the bus stop. He has been riding bikes and friends' house hopping since 3:30! This beats the heck outta sitting and playing video games or making messes all over the house.


Kendal just quoted Rocky Horror. She said "I didn't make him for YOU!!" When Logan said he didn't like something she made.
*To my mother: no, they don't watch Rocky Horror but we do quote it often.

Overheard in the other room while K and Loopy are playing music...
Loopy: Hey Kendal, you can play the recorder part to Stairway to Heaven! 
Kendal: Ok...
Loopy: Wow, that was really good! Do you know anything else?

I wish Kendal would tell me when we are playing hide and seek. I thought she was playing quietly in her room. She was patiently hiding under her covers. Silly girl

Me: I love you Kendal
Kendal: I love dad! 
Me: oh. 
Kendal: Its ok, I think Logan loves you though.

Kendal's Joke of the Day:
Knock Knock (because that's how all jokes start) 
What are you eating under there? 
Me: Under where? 
Kendal: Bwahahahaaa!!!! EW, GROSS!!

Kendal: Here comes Juan on his grass vacuum!! Its ok, he's a good guy.
Translation: Hey mom, Juan the lawn guy is here on his riding mower. No need to be scared, we are safely inside the house and he wouldn't run us over even if we were outside.

I am playing fetch with my 3yr old. I throw the ball, she barks, fetches and brings it back in her mouth. We need a real dog.

I told Kendal we have to go to Target for a couple things. She packed a large IKEA box, a backpack, and an armload of elephants. Shout out to my parents for bringing her a freakin' suitcase full of new stuffed elephants. *sigh. No idea why she has to bring ALL of them to Target, I always make her leave them in the car anyway.

♥ Happy 4th Birthday to my beautiful crazy baby girl, Kendal ♥

Today was a great day. Tons of fun with family! Kendal had an amazing birthday and got everything she loves including a giant sprinkle cookie instead of a cake. At the same time I miss my PC friends terribly. I am used to having everyone together to celebrate our kids' b-days. Not being over there for important stuff today made me sad. 

Remember when you had a 4yr old and they never stopped talking ever. Kendal hit that milestone TODAY. My ears are tired and she has been chattering for hours about every freaking thing.

Random stuff

Why the heck are you crying!?

Have you seen this website Reasons My Son Is Crying? It's freaking hilarious. It isn't necessarily nice to laugh at kids for freaking the hell out. (yeah yeah yeah). But honestly. Sometimes the reasons are SO outrageous that we have to laugh or we as parents will completely lose our Shmidt. Here are some reasons my kids cry... 

He poke himself in the eyeball. His response was "I don't want to talk about it."

Kendal insisted on taking out the Dumbo DVD all by herself and she was SO proud. But, it cracked on one side. 

Her face as I explained that we can't just go buy a new one. It is currently in the Disney Vault for like 10 years. She will just have to get by without her Dumbo DVD. 

It started to dawn on her what I was saying... 

Why my daughter is crying: 
Complete and udder sadness and regret at her need to be independent (stubborn) even when the movie is totally stuck.

She sobbed for about an hour. 

I wish I would have recorded her reaction when she opened her NEW (gently used from ebay) Dumbo DVD on her birthday. She was so giddy and kept smiling like this and thanked everyone in the room for being there to see her open her new favorite movie.

My son is crying because... A spider was in the toilet and came after him when he tried to flush it. He ran screaming out of the bathroom. He had already disrobed for a #2 so it was even more funny cause he was streaking though the house.

My daughter is crying because... we ran out of Crunch Berries cereal and I refuse to take her to the grocery store. The other 10 varieties of cereal in the pantry are unacceptable.

Why my son is crying... I told him to poop by himself and I'd come to help in a minute.. -Brandi

Why my daughter is crying: I told her the PINK skirt is dirty and she would have to wear a different PINK skirt. - Susan

Yoga Pants

So much for that...

We were going to go for bike ride but the kids won't get dressed then a drum circle broke out in the living room. This is what happens when I live in a house full of musicians.

Family bike ride, take 2

On my to do list:

Art projects

What I WANT you do do,
 is make THIS into an elephant..

Kendal wants a pink K for the wall in her room. NO PROBLEM!! We head to Michael's, pick out a big 'K' and some bright pink paint. Get home and she wants me to paint a pink elephant on the K. For the record, Elephants aren't K shaped, but I'm trying. Its been a long time since I was crafty. 

Logan wanted his name on a plaque so he picked out the letters and colors. I'll post pics of the creations later. Also, my kids are like ADD monkeys in a crafting store. Their eyes get all buggy and they have to touch and show me EVERYTHING

Silly me:

Kendal: Logan, do you feel alright?
Logan: Yup, I'm on cloud nine! 
Kendal: I love clouds!
Me: Cloud nine, huh? 
Logan: Um YEeeaahh, Its called an idiom, mom.

I challenge you to a Duel!

Kendal is dressed as a Dragon (monster Halloween costume) Logan is a Knight. One guess as to who is winning.


Went to Daytona today to get my hairs cut by Ms. Shannon then we went to a smoke shop to get a new part for my ecig. I couldn't figure out why it was SO busy at 3:50 on a Saturday... After all these years I STILL find myself in a head shop on 420! Ah the sights and smells of my youth. There was a kid in there that looked just like Mitch from Dazed and Confused. I also went to school with a kid that looked like Mitch his name was Jake. I wish I had a picture of the kid in the store for better comparison... 

Sometimes this is hard! 

It is really hard being the only one in the house sticking to the "No Yelling" agreement. It makes me feel stabby and stuff. I need to go for a walk and get outta here!

Love for Cat

Our fantastic babysitter from Palm Coast, Cat, got a liver transplant a month ago. She is amazing, inspirational, and incredibly strong. You can read a little about her story HERE. Turns out she is staying at the hospital about 15 minutes from here so I took the kids to see her on our way to Orlando. Logan is fascinated by the process and he was even brave enough to look at the staples and stuff! Hopefully he'll get over that in therapy one day.. (just kidding, he asked GREAT questions) 

I have one more little thing to say about this. If you see Cat out in public give her a high five, cause she's awesome but that shit is HARD to deal with. Having your innards cut up and strewn about, receiving replacement organs, 40+ staples and more medicine, tubing, wires, ports, sores, transfusions, and dialysis than any human should have to endure is painful and exhausting. If you see Cat out in pubic don't stare. Don't make comments about her moving slow or wearing a mask. (She isn't contagious, YOU are.) The bruises are from all the IV's from when she nearly died waiting for a donor. Don't judge, people. Its hard enough without your ignorance making this amazing woman feel less than human. Thanks.

Be even MORE pro-active and sign up HERE to learn more about becoming an organ donor. There is even a little link at the bottom to get that process started. I have more than a couple friends currently using donor organs and they are here because someone was educated and selfless enough to take action. Go save a life.

I'll just leave it at that, cause now I feel ranty. 

I'll fill you in on the rest of the month tomorrow including but not limited to.... 
Booty Dancing on stage with Flo Rida
Kendal's Birthday pics
My mother nearly bitch slapping a neurotic woman at the hotel .
Updated pictures of the house
An attempt at getting in shape
More shennanigans and kid-isms 

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