A lot of stuff happened last year. Which was really only a couple days ago. But I like that calling it last year makes it seem like a long time ago. I honestly don't remember the first half the year. It happened. I have all the pictures and such to prove it but it seems insignificant when all that other stuff happened late in the year. Stuff that I will never shake from my memory. I will never be able to forget everything that happened in September and October. That was such a crazy couple months. I am grateful that I can go back to the bloggity blog anytime an reflect on it all. The good and the bad.
I still can't wrap my head around 'the bad'. I can't envision a world with out Benji. Its not so much that he was a huge part of my life. He was everything to the people I love and my heart hurts knowing that life for my best friend and god daughter has to go on without him. I hate that his parents have to deal with unimaginable loss. I wish there was more that I could have done. I am grateful that I was able to go up there and support them all when I could. Its still just a movie that plays in my head.
My 2012 goal of improving our family life was accomplished so I am ready to let that part of the past stay there. Just let it go and enjoy everything that we have to look forward to. That isn't easy, I am still angry about a lot of things things but it's exhausting to hold grudges and I have never been one to do that. All I can do is look back and smile. That is a great feeling. Sometimes I still rant. But I like to rant.
For the record, I typed that date wrong 3 times. It will take some getting used to.
So we have been talking about when we are moving to Lake Mary. I think we have officially settled on moving in the end of March. I originally wanted to wait until the end of the school year.
(Hold on, Kendal is beating the new nook with a dinosaur.)
But my friend Claire suggested we move when our lease is up to a)avoid issues with extending a lease b) make new friends before summer starts and c)avoid all the extra cash we are shelling out on gas and fender benders because of the commute. I totally agree with these things. Logan is a pretty social guy and shouldn't have any trouble at a new school. Kendal could care less as long as she has her toys. I actually enjoy the purging and packing/inventory that goes along with moving. House hunting is my favorite!
Let the search for a new place to live begin! First we have to make a list of things we want and or need in a house.
1. At least 3 bedrooms, none of us want to share rooms if we don't have to. An extra "play room" again would be nice...
2. A decent preferably fenced in yard.
3. At least the same square footage that we have now. Its nice to not HAVE to see eachother all the time.
4. Close to the new job and decent schools.
5. Another raise is likely coming soon but we would like to pay about what we are now for rent.
bonus points if:
1. It has more than one story, Logan wants stairs.
2. A fireplace, so I can stop making s'mores in the toaster oven.
3. NO TILE!!! That stuff is impossible to keep clean.
4. Logan would like to live next to a nice skate park (sigh)
5. Kendal would like a pet alligator since dinosaurs are hard to come by.
6. A pool. I can dream, right?
7. Loopy would like to have all that and pay as close to nothing as possible (HA!)
(hold on, Kendal needs me to build an angry birds castle)
Many of my friends have issues with me moving. I understand that. I will miss the convenience of being close to my friends here. I'll miss having people to kid swap with. I will miss having people that will go drink coffee with me at midnight just so I can get out of the house to enjoy adult conversation. There are A LOT of people I will miss for various reasons. I've always been good at meeting people and choosing the good ones, so I am not worried about it. To all of you who are panicking and or pouting, its only an hour away. I'll meet you 1/2 way.. or better yet, at Disney!
Loopy is excited to live 10 minutes from work again, however he has REALLY been enjoying the drive and listening to music as loud as he wants with the AC blasting. The idea was that the drive would be a way for him to settle down and clear his mind before he gets home to the family.. that hasn't been necessary. He loves everything about his job and is excited to come tell us about it every day.
About that new job...
Loopy emailed his recruiter on New Years Day to tell her he'd like to take a full time position at the new company so they can get that paperwork started. The first weekend with them was rough but that problem has been fixed and he was reassured numerous times it won't happen again. He is starting to trust what people tell him.
(hold on, Logan got the blue screen of death on the computer again)
The managers are taking his suggestions and using them. They congratulate him daily on a job well done and are encouraging him to take control and even hire people if need be to help with the website he is in charge of. Most days he comes home and tells me it doesn't feel like work, he is having a great time. Therefore the rest of us are incredibly happy. I had missed his smile, silly antics, and lovable personality.
Nah, I am not a fan of resolutions. I have never met anyone that followed through for a whole year on a resolution.. ok, maybe one or two, but I know a LOT of people, so the statistics are not good. There are a few things I'd like to improve on.
I'd like to quit smoking. I have been a smoker since I was 16 and I'm sort of over it. I won't tell people when I am going to quit and I won't set a date that I will be "DONE" I don't want the pressure from others and I don't want to be disappointed in myself if I don't meet my own deadline. I hate deadlines very much.
I'd like to get back into decent shape. I've become quite lazy. I have a million reasons in my head that I can't get up RIGHT now and get that ball rolling. I used to exercise to excess. I went through an anorexic stage in life and in my mind I know that it would be easy to hit that mental switch again. Gotta find a balance.
(hold on, Kendal wants Fruity Pebbles)
I'd like to be a better mom and find more patience. That will be hard with that quitting smoking thing.. I suppose they all tie in, huh? I'll try to get up and play with them more. I'll try to be more active with them. That's hard because they never want to go ANYWHERE. I guess home is just too awesome.
(hold on, Kendal just spilled her Fruity Pebbles all over the couch and my phone is exploding and Logan is asking me to make some dinner)
I'd like to blog more. Yeah, I do it a lot, but it gets the thoughts out of my head and cures insomnia. I'll try to be careful and not allientate people. No promises though. What sort of stuff do you want me to write about?
Change is good
I'll embrace it. I like adventures. I like new things and new people and new experiences.I think this is gonna be a great year! I have to go make tacos.