NOT about ME.

Well that was fun..

I got a lot of positive feedback from the last post. I might do some more stuff like that in the future(but probably not just about me) It was fun to write about something other than the kids and parenting for a minute. I'm open to more suggestions! Or if I left anything out of the last post you want to hear about let me know. For now I'm going to stick to what works and what I know best. 

Back to Parenting..

Logan stuffs

Happy boy's 2nd grade picture

For the record, he said his ears are magical because they actually get BIGGER in pictures than in real life. Amazing, huh? 

We made it 2 weeks into school without a sick kid. That has to be a record! Kendal is "Hot and a little spitty" but definitely "NOT SICK" That means that I was home with a puker and missing Logan's first belt test for Karate.  Its was regional thing at UCF and he was really excited. Loopy took a TON of pictures

Practice with D before the test

Good form

Push up test

Blocking

Kicking Stance

With Sensei Michael

Waiting to get his yellow stripe

Southeast Cuong Nhu Crew

Hero Academy Crew

One day blisteringly hot day in September, Logan came home and went straight outside to play in the dirt like a 7yr old boy should. 2 hours later he comes in and says "COME SEE WHAT I MADE!! its a dirt hotel for bugs" ok, pretty cool looking, very elaborate. The only problem is that I think he buried a sprinkler head and he is wearing uniform pants that now have a hole in the knee and they are BLACK from the thigh down. *sigh

Logan is a comedian pretty much everywhere we go. He wowed the staff with is cup song skills at Prime Time Cafe at Hollywood Studios and danced Gangum style all the way to the table. Here he is learning a few days earlier


 Then he taught Dad how to play too.

This house is protected by a ninja in dress pants,clip on tie, and pimp hat. He'll take you down with his amazing fashion sense alone.








My kid did a whole weeks worth of spelling homework thinking it has to be done all in one day. I wasn't about to stop him. That means the rest of my week will be easier! He was not even grumpy about it. Kendal is quietly building board games out of Legos. Easy mellow afternoon for the win. knockin' on wood.

Logan must have gotten into trouble at school because he's being REALLY nice to Kendal and put his backpack away and said he just doesn't remember what he did today. I am enjoying the happy sibling moment too much to go read his binder right now. Hoping that I just got my awesome kid back after a very long and whiny hiatus...

...Nope, he got a star for the day and only has to practice spelling and vocab. AND the construction guy down the street said he was very polite on his way home today and said "Hello sir, have a good day" to everyone. There is still happy laughing coming from the playroom and he read her a story. Is this the twilight zone? I don't even care that the playroom is getting trashed

Went to cracker barrel for breakfast and this incredibly stern looking woman stopped by to tell me our kids are a PLEASURE to sit near at a restaurant because they are respectful, well behaved, and polite. She was a Jr high teacher and said to keep doing whatever we are doing. Am I in the twilight zone or have I hit the "sweet spot" of parenting? Yeah, Logan was dressed as a bandit.





Every night after I read with my kids I ask them if there is anything they want to tell me or talk about. If you don't do this, I highly recommend it. Some of our best kid-isms happen at bedtime. Kendal usually punches me and tells me to get out. Logan always comes up with something. Somehow he just got me to agree to go on a "Goth Themed Date to Paranera" on Friday He's got his outfit picked out and we need black fingernails. Could be fun.






Logan hurt his foot, was looking for sympathy, and donations.







Me: Logan, your turn, go take a shower.
Logan comes back out of the bathroom: Mom, I don't understand the concept of some words and phrases.
Me: That is because you are seven. What don't you understand?
Logan: I don't understaaaaand... Yes and No.
Me: Well then you can look them up in your dictionary after you take a shower so you can get a better understanding. Also look up Procrastination, Stalling, and Avoidance.
Logan: UUuuuugh. Fine. Shower time.

Logan thinks it's funny to walk right passed my car when I pick him up at the bus stop. Guess that means I don't need to waste time effort on that anymore...
1 week later
... So much for Logan's streak of independence walking from the bus stop alone. He asked poor Heather to walk him ALLLL the way home WITH 3 kids in tow. Ugh. I'm so so sorry Heather. I'll to back to picking him up again tomorrow.

Can I just say that watching a group of kids belt test is like watching submissions for The Ministry of Silly Walks? At least it made me giggle when I was watching.. and then later when I looked at the pictures.

Beginning of silly walk test.

REALLY getting into it

These are the more advanced silly walkers

Logan floating gracefully to the back of the line

Anyway, he passed his test with flying colors and got his second yellow stripe. At this rate he'll be moving up in rank pretty quickly. He takes it all very seriously.

Caught Logan sleepwalking upstairs again. He went to pee and walked past the bathroom. Caught him right before he unloaded into the clubhouse. Then had to wrestle him back to his room. Where does this kid pee when I'm sleeping and DON'T catch him? Anyway, disaster averted.

Logan was quickly working though his homework so that he can go to Karate. Except he was screaming and crying the whole time.. For no apparent reason. Just sitting there all by himself having a loud temper tantrum while correctly answering questions and a decent pace. It gets louder when he has to erase something.. maybe erasing is painful.. strange.

Then Susan recommended giving him some salty carbs. I thought it was worth a shot to make the howling stop. Gave him a big bowl of pretzels and he came over laughing.. patting his head and rubbing his belly. What the actual fuck is in those magical little salty sticks?

Kendal stuffs

Orlando adventures with Kendal one afternoon. And I got two spare booster seats for Loopy's car for $30. Bonus.

Kendal Speak: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang = shitty shitty bang bang

The look on Loopy's face when Kendal says "Dad, will you turn on Mr. Noisy (the big amp) play music with me?" Makes my heart melt. They are playing acoustic guitars and singing. So sweet.

Kendal told me that she doesn't care if fruits and veggies will make her big and strong because she wants to stay little just like this forever. I told her she needs them to be healthy and she said "Mom, I"M NOT SICK" and she's right. She is healthy and happy, and smarter than we all give her credit for. I should count my blessings and stop nagging the poor child

Yeah. I'm sitting here watching Dumbo by myself while Kendal is playing games on the computer in the other room. It's the Pink Elephant Parade after Dumbo accidentally drinks moonshine laced with what appears to be acid.

Noise in the kitchen: BANG BANG BANG BANG

Me: Kendal, what are you doing in there?

Kendal: Nuffing. but I really need doritos.

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

Me: seriously, stop ramming that chair into the desk.

Kendal: Its helps you to hear me better

Me: I told you to talk so I can hear you, not make loud noises to get my attention. 

BANG BANG BANG

Kendal DORITOOOOOOS

Heard Kendal yelling for help cause she was stuck. She fell in a bucket and couldn't get out

Kendal came out of her room to pee and told me it looks like I'm wearing someone else's head. Guess those nighttime cold meds are kicking in.

I gave in to the boogies and gave her cold meds. 1/2 dose and she still seems a bit tipsy. She's got the hiccups and slurring her way through the alphabet. I took a video but it was pretty awful. 

Me: we should drive to get Logan from the bus stop today because it looks like it is about to rain. 

Kendal grabs her neon pink pumpkin bucket: We should walk. I'm thinking its gonna rain CANDY!! I'll catch it in my pumkin!!

Nope, no candy rain. Sorry kid.

Kendal said the ottoman is her good friend. Then she made him a face. Yay preschool creativity.

Hide and seek with Kendal...She announces where she is and giggles incessantly.

Kendal woke up with a stuffy runny nose. You know why? Cause I'm suppose to go have lunch with Kari and Tater on Thursday. I say we brave the germs. I miss my friend. And so we did.

Kendal picked out her Halloween costume!

She won't take it off.











It is incredibly difficult to put gloves on a florida child who has NEVER worn gloves. She has no concept of one finger in each space but gets mad when they fall off and she can't use her hands.

Family stuffs

Logan is teaching Kendal math. its not going well. She got 3+3 right. but 7+6 does NOT equal Cheetah. ''Mr. Logan the math teacher'' has his hands full.

Logan was pretending to be a Daleck and exterminate Kendal so she kicked him in the balls. I am trying to keep a straight face. Logan is still sobbing and K is in time out.

Kendal: I just wanna get to the Magic Kingdoooom.

Me: We are almost there, promise.

Kendal: I just gotta get there and smell Donald's butt.

Me: what? Why?

Kendal: cause its stiiiinky.

Jeff and Janna, we'll be in line to see Donald if you need us... just to see if we get kicked out

Ok, we didn't find Donald, but we had a great time with the Kelly's and Kendal LOVES Jeff.

As an added bonus, I got to go on rides with Loopy! 

Kendal's teacher told me she is really coming out of her shell at school and they are surprised by how smart she is. (you know since she cried and didn't talk for the first 2 weeks) Then Logan walked home by himself and was happy about it, ate a snack, watched one show, and got up to do his homework WITHOUT nagging. Kendal is playing Nick Jr. quietly WITH headphones. its so quiet I can hear crabs digging. OH, and I slept the whole time the kids were at school. Best. Day. Ever.

Kendal is playing a Little Einsteins game on the computer. Every game has a music/art theme and they talk about the style and artists ect. Anyway. Logan walked in and was like "hey, that artwork is done by Henri Rousseau! Did you know there was a rumor that he painted with his FEET!?" Then he rattled off the name of his famous art and other facts. At least I can say my kids are well rounded.

By the way, I had to google Henri Rousseau.








Kendal found these carecrows at target. The kids are putting on a puppet show. Kendal named hers Scarycrotch. We'll have to rename him later

My awesome geek kids are playing Dr. Who. Kendal made a Lego Dalek.









Inventions of the day: Lego Dojo for a ninja and picture for dad's work by Logan, Lego amusement ride named Bone Crusher by Kendal, A cardboard and sandpaper slinky ramp for the stairs (prototype) by Loopy, and a Lego Dalek by me. We are so creative.

Sometimes there are so many Lego projects in progress that we have to have picnic on the floor. Priorities, people.

Fro-yo for dinner is a bad idea. The kids are literally bouncing off the walls

A couple times a year I am especially bummed to not have our parents in town. This week the kids have grandparents and breakfasts and lunches at school no one to take with them. This morning Kendal is probably borrowing some nice old guy from the church and clinging to his grandpa-ness. We went to have lunch with Logan, he was pretty happy, even though his burger was wrong.

Yup. Loopy loves football, Logan tries to understand, Kendal takes her pants off and dances on furniture and I use it as an excuse to grill things and drink.







So we redid the crabitat with some new stuff. I emptied the whole tank and cleaned it out. Seems that someone definitely ate Mrs. Crabs. OR she just committed suicide because Foxy wouldn't give back the bedazzled shell. I got to watch Mr. Crabs jump shells TWICE and tried to catch Ballsy jumping but he's currently staring down Mr. C for that giant shell. Turbo went RIGHT back under ground to finish hardening. These things really are interesting when they aren't under ground for 2 months. You know, for a couple minutes at a time. Susan said Mrs. Crabs buried herself under ground so no one would see her shame. Only to perish and be eaten by her own.

RIP Mrs. Crabs

Loopy is sitting on his amp watching the 'silent movie' of drama and cannibalism in the crab tank.

Meanwhile Ballsy is burrowing to molt.






Smells like something died in my couch. Guess I'll wash the cushions today and clean the carpets, THEN try some baking soda. Kids are gross.

Me: Hey kids, Something smells terrible right here on the carpet. Any idea what might have spilled? Cause seriously, it smells like death.
Logan completely straight faced: It was the acid. Or the poison. Probably the the poison.
Kendal also straight faced: Yeah. I did that spill it. Sorry about that.
Then they went back to playing like this conversation didn't just happen. I would be humored if they weren't so serious. Rethinking that sleep in/ let the kids fend for themselves on weekend thing..






Went to Winter Springs to check out the new Sun Rail! Then we did some exploring.

Told her it was the Tardis
She was scared to get in

Bowling

You know you live in the south when you almost vacuum up snakes with the crumbs and floor fuzzies. THIS is why I am always telling kids to close the dang door. He's now safely back outside.

    

The kids wanted to keep him, but the Hermit crabs are taking up the tank right now. And I really don't think I could feed a living creature to a snake.. He's better off outside anyway.

Mom Stuffs

So it IS possible!!!

But unlikely. So this is my backup plan.

Public Service Announcement: If you are watching Breaking Bad and leak a spoiler I'll de-friend you immediately and send an angry mob after you and you'll be tarred, feathered, and left on an Indian reservation in a crappy RV until the series is over.

I'd be trashed long before noon. Sometimes it's just over and over for no reason. Sometimes they don't realize they are saying it.. like instead of just being quiet, they say "Mom" to fill the dead air

Kid: MOM!!

Me: What? 

Kid: I didn't say anything. 

Me: yeah, you said MOM

Kid: hmmm, nevermind then.

Oh sweet baby jeebus. REUSE YOUR DAMN CUP

The other day I saw a great article that describes exactly how I feel about being a parent some days. There is so much pressure to have the perfectly organized clean houses, Make time consuming homemade dinners weeks in advance to freeze and RECOOK them later, throw huge birthday parties with f-ing petting zoos, and get overly involved in every damn thing that our kids can possibly be into. 

And in our spare time create adorable bento boxes packed with strictly healthy organic foods arranged in adorable scenes (I'm serious, have you SEEN these things!?  Let me give you an example. Go do a google image search, I'm telling you... 

Seriously, what the hell IS that!? 

If you come to my house it will always ALWAYS be just a little messy. There will be spots on the counter, or dishes in the sink, or underwear on the floor. I won't be wearing a cute dress or blouse. But there WILL always be coffee, a comfy (mostly clean) couch, and good conversation. 

My kids might not have eaten an organic banana for after school snack, their rooms are messy, and so is mine. BUT we are happy, healthy, and well rounded, welcoming, non judgy people. 

Can we PLEASE take it down a notch, people? 

Sometimes I take a mom day. I leave town, by myself to see friends and do stuff that I can't do with kids who are begging to go home or a husband with social anxiety. One day last month I went to Palm Coast to relax. 

Wine slushie with Nissa on the beach? Yes Please.

It was good to see every one. (in no particular order) Davida, Grant, Karry, Melanie, Scott, Luci, Misty, Nissa, Denise, Rachel, Julie, Jessie, Michelle, Nate, Bill, Tehgan, Aj, and anyone else I could possibly have forgotten.

My name is Kara and I am a severe multitasker. I have 3 tabs open with articles I want to read, one tab with a funny video to watch, one started blog, one tab with fb history, notebook is open for blog notes, facebook newsfeed tab, and I am also watching something on tv.. you know, just for added distraction. Only a couple chat windows open though..

Technically, Its only 2:25am, but I am going to call this post finished. So Long September, its been fun!