What you may have missed in May and June
I didn't blog in June. At all. And very little the rest of the summer for that matter I guess that means I was busy doing mom stuff and entertaining kids while trying not to lose my schmidt over stuff that doesn't really matter. I covered this subject in July but it feels like there is SO much that I didn't write down.
Summertime Kid-isms and reflections on spending 24 hours a day with your children for 3 months straight
Childhood regretsLogan: I regret 2 things in my life.
Number one; Falling off my bike and getting all these scrapes and scabs.
Number two: All that crazy yelling over taking a little shower. That was totally not worth it.
At least he realizes screaming like a banshee for an HOUR about not wanting to take a shower was uncalled for and worthless. He has officially learned my limit for a smart mouth and screechy yelling before I'll smack his face. We are both tired out and I need a drink. Luckily my dad sent me a Box o' booze!
Keeping things interesting
Today Kendal developed an intense irrational fear of the kitchen. No idea what that's all about.
Logan: *unintelligible whining.
Kendal walking out of the room: I cant stand that whining, knock that off.
Logan: JUST STOOOOOOP
Kendal: Seriously! Just be quiet. SSShhhh
Kendal: Oh. My. Gosh. Quit it now.
It worked!! He stopped
Kendal's cuteness today is overwhelming. She is currently singing a song to her little people while dropping monopoly houses down the back of her shirt. She tried to explain it to me but gave up because I "just don't get it". I love when she gets lost in her own little 4yr old world.
Logan is building his own world in SimCity and destroying it with natural disasters and monsters.
I like easy afternoons. (knock on wood)
Harbinger of things to come
Kendal hitting on Logan's friend Chandler: I like you and you are my favorite. I'm a girl, I like your pants. I have a colorful shirt and dress..
Kendal playing with her Ariel doll from Little Mermaid
Kendal: She has theeeese (pointing at Ariel's boobs) Do you have those too? (looking down my shirt)
Kendal: I have some here too (pulls up her shirt) Well where did they go?
Me: Where did what go?
Kendal: Mine like those (pointing at me)
Kendal: Yes! I can't find mine
Me: You'll get there honey
Kendal goes and sits next to her new friend Chandler and puts her head on his shoulder: Hi, remember me? I'm Kendal. I was just over there. I'm back now.
You know the kid are having fun when you are compelled to google things like "closest emergency room" just in case. And you find yourself saying things like "please don't ride your brother up the stairs"
Weird ass keyword searches...
My favorite weird blog search keywords of the month goes toooooo "rubber pants spanking tube" By the way, don't google that. Just. Dont.
Gay: Adj; Happy, Joyful
Remember a couple months ago when Logan asked me "what does Gay mean?" and we looked in his dictionary and it says "happy, joyful" ect. We went with that because frankly, all the gay people I know really are happy and joyful (and sexual preference isn't important to a 6yr olds or us) . Anyway, yesterday the kids were playing in the rain with umbrellas and Logan ran to the middle of the cul de sac and started singing loudly "I have an umbrella, dancing in the rain, I'm so gay. Its a gay day to dance in the rain. I love to sing about being so gay in the rooooad. So gay so gay so gay" So much for trying to make a good impression with the neighbors. I think we offended the guy across the street.
Here is a Diagram just in case you aren't sure whether your use of the word 'gay' is appropriate or not.
Books these days
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Kendal got a new Dr Suess book. It's very... informative.
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This was my 8am wake up call. Logan stayed up all night for no reason and still hasn't slept.
Halloween costume pants from 4 years ago, armor and shield, pimp hat. Rockin the style today. He was pissed that his winter coat didn't fit under it all
Came to see what is taking Kendal so long to brush her teeth. She was enjoying surround sound musical toothbrushes.
Logan: Would you like me to lock you in a cold dark room to see what it feels like?
Kendal: Ok, but I don't like the dark
Logan: I have to do it at night.
Kendal: I would like the morning better
Logan: Ok, tickets please..
Kendal: Crap, Logan. This is probably a bad idea.
Just a thought
Sometimes its best to just get something off your chest. Why can't people just be honest and say what is on their mind? Why do so many people create unnecessary drama by making assumptions and accusations? Sigh. I am grateful for other honest friends with a low tolerance for bullshit. Thanks for listening to me rant until 4am.
Worth a shot
Going to take Logan to sit in on a Martial Arts class tomorrow evening. He is incredibly nervous and I am super excited for him to maybe learn structure and discipline in a different environment. Couple more places to call and set up the same thing before we decide on a place.
This just in: today is Wednesday, not Tuesday. If it wasn't for that sunburn we would have gone to Karate tonight about 3 hours late. Terrible first impression avoided.
Logan finally made it to his first Karate class today and he did great. He had a private lesson with an instructor to learn replies and moves. Then joined in a small group of white belts to learn basic moves, how to get away from a stranger, nunchuk 101, board breaking, and he even earned his white belt. At one point he said "I can't do this" while attempting the splits and everyone in the room stopped and started chanting "Yes I can" until he joined in, then they applauded him. He LOVED that. Day 1 was a success.
*we decided against this specific place. After getting your kid hooked with 3 free classes you are required to pay several hundred dollars upfront plus uniform and weapons. AND sign a contract for a year with no refunds. F that. We found a reasonable Dojo that we really like. More on that next time.
Every year we set up a pool in the back yard and every year the kids get all excited to be the one who hold the hose to fill it, they spend HOURS in and out of the house playing and swimming. This year the pool is big enough for me to lay around in with them and they want NOTHING to do with it. If you need me this afternoon I'll be floating by myself in my own little pool
Change of plans
New plan, I'll be in the air conditioned house.
Should have listened
Me: Logan, put some sun block on please so you don't get burned
Logan: No. I don't want to.
Me: You'll be pretty sorry later
Logan: I don't care.
Later that evening.
Logan: My back hurts, I think I have a sunburn
Me: Yup, Lookit that
Logan: Its hurrrrts, I need aloe!
Me: Soooo, you DO care then
Logan: OK!! I learned my lesson. Always listen to your parents.
Seems mean but every time I ask him to do something and for a good reason he says "I don't care". I was tired of arguing.
Some days suck
I am not a fan of this day so far. Kendal has had a couple awesome tantrums. One because I wouldn't give her candy at 7am and one because I reminded her she's too big for binkies. Logan has been having a constant tantrum because his sunburn is bothering him. I am pretty sure he'll never set foot outside without sunblock again in his life. Not because the burn is THAT bad but because he is completely intolerant of anything uncomfortable. Pretty sure the lawn guy is going to report me because Logan was screaming like a banshee during a bath... that he refused to sit down for. I haven't even finished my first cup of coffee.
Everyone is happier post coffee
Kids invented a game called skydivers. Logan's is named Fast Bomb. Kendal's is Slow Feather. Pretty sure Logan named them.
Martial arts side effect
Kids are upstairs practicing karate. Pretty sure they brought a herd of ungraceful elephants.. the house is shaking.
The water company has been sending our bill to the wrong address for 3 months. I was just doing dishes and getting ready to make the coffee and a city worker just came and shut it off. Lovely. It was supposed to be corrected months ago when we got our proof of residency for Logan's school in March. When Loopy went in to ask about the bill to pay it a month ago they didn't accept debit card and our checks have the wrong address. When they finally sent us a bill YESTERDAY their online system was down. Assholes.
Parenting tip #356
Although crunch berries CAN be used as replacement balls for Hungry Hungry Hippos, they should NOT be. Not sure I'll ever get the crumbs out of there.
Some friends were staying in Orlando at a resort. When we got there a pool party was in progress. Logan did some karaoke
MakeoverWho needs a salon? I have a 4 yr old.
Side effects of 4yr old stylist
I have some shopping and cleaning and laundry to do but i have to wait for these nails to dry. It might take a while... its pretty thick in a few spots. Kendal telling me how grown up she is now make it worth the spills, stains on my favorite yoga pants, and sticky nails.
Even a caveman can do it
Logan on Cavemen: Back when there were cavemen, there were only men and they had big hairy beards because they didn't have trimmers.
me: there and to be cavewomen SOMEWHERE, they are the ones that have babies, remember?
Logan: they probably only had one and kept her in the baby making cave.. when they needed anther guy for hunting they'd just go get one from her.
Logan on style
Logan: you should paint my fingernails and toenails too.
Me: I only have pink, blue, and purple
Logan: yeah, but I am a rock n roll punk. When a boy dresses up in girls stuff and he's in a band it makes him more metal or punk.. so its ok. I'll take blue nails and purple toes.
Me: ... I can't argue with that... but please stop putting on my makeup, you are making a mess.
Lake Mary Target yuppies are gonna LOVE us this afternoon!
New guilty pleasure
I am about ready to throw these new curtain rods through the window. There is so many plates and cinder blocks in this exterior wall that I can't find a spot where I can screw all 6 support brackets evenly or at least even sort of evenly. Now there are holes all over. I need a swim break and these whiny arguing kids need a change of scenery. $@*&!!!!!