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Friday, July 20, 2012


July 20, 2012 more birthday shenanigans 

Let me start by saying that Logan did indeed get his personal business checked yesterday. It shouldn't have been nearly that traumatic but the Dr is very affectionate (in a non-creepy way) and that was the icing on the proverbial birthday cake, he was freaked out. This will probably be discussed in therapy some day. He also had his ears checked, which are fine. He really does have selective hearing, I have proof. His eyes are just fine too, which is shocking because both me and his dad got glasses in 1st grade because we can't see for shit.

Favorite present: new magic wand. He has been casting spells on us all day. Confundus and Stupefy are his favorite. I have spent my day confused about why I am stiff and a board. 

Other favorite present: A Nerf Machine gun. Here is a demonstration:


Most expensive present: Electric drum set. This was as much for Loopy as for Logan I think. And for me, because he has always wanted drums and these can use headphones. Yay for that. 
 

Growing up we went out for dinner on our birthday. So I asked Logan what he wanted to do for his birthday dinner. He said. "MAC N CHEESE OUT OF THE PAN!!"  Awesome, cheap, easy.... done.


Yes, he just turned 6, yes that is a #5 candle. Round here we improvise. No #6 candles at Publix, that's cool, we'll just tell Logan it's because we are celebrating making it through 5yrs. He totally bought it and its Totally true. Who knew I could keep a human alive for 5 WHOLE years!?

Tomorrow we head to the Motel 6. That's the part he's REALLY excited about. Weirdo.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

A note from Logan

Today I watched Mario Bros and this morning it happened. I was excited. Today its my birthday on July 19. I had to go to the Dr.'s and they had to check my testicles to make sure they're not in bad shape. I felt sad and scared. And they told me how to cure a hernia. I don't have that.
~Logan

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Getting caught up...

These are the things they have done in 2012. Not all of them of coarse because I can't keep up most days. In fact, most days there is at least one person in this house who forgets to wear pants.


Jan 1, 2012, I don't know where she gets it

Everyone: HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Logan: Can I watch Untold Stories of the ER now?
Me: no.
Logan: Ok, great party. I'm goin' to bed.
Kendal: PARTY PARTY HAPPY NEW YEARS PARTY!

Jan 2, 2012 good days

Me and Kendal pretty much slept all day and it was awesome. I like sleep.

Jan 5, 2012, enunciation 

When Kendal says frog, it sounds just like Fuck. and catches me off gaurd EVERY time.

later that day....

Sitting outside for some quiet time and I hear "No, don't put that in your ear. Aw, now it's in your ear."
I think I'll stay outside a little longer.

Jan 6, 2012 

Kid-isms of the day.
Logan: I have these two marbles (gifts from girls in his class, is this the new way to show affection?) One is a girl marble, one is a boy. I have to keep them in separate pockets because they are always fighting.
Me: What do marbles fight about?
Logan: you know, like who's smarter, who is more accurate, who is stronger... marble stuff
Me: of course.

Kendal out riding her big wheel: Ut oh, A farted (she only uses nouns)
Then with a disgusted look: Uh... mom? A poop fart? Ew, its gross.
*Signs change and walks away like a cowboy.
Oy! Its so embarassing!
Kendal was a gangsta in a past life

Passing thru the living room where Loopy and Logan are hanging out I hear






"Dad, I am going to need you to play something EPIC... like a song about.. MATH!!!"
We all know he doesn't get that from me.

Jan 15, 2012 wishful thinking

Kendal is still sleeping. She might be as tall as Logan when she wakes up. OR able to hold a conversation. Usually a long sleep means she will hit a milestone. I am hoping for fully potty trained. 

Jan 17, 2012 bad news/good news

Logan's tonsils and adenoids come out on the 30th. Yikes.

Jan 18, 2012 The Beatles! again

Kendal is obsessed with the Yelloween (Yellow Submarine movie) and is making me watch the opening sequence over and over because she finds it hilarious when the cello player gets bonked by apples. Then rocks out like crazy on the Wii drum set and sings the Yelloween song. If I wont turn it on she chants Beatles until I relent. 

Jan 19, 2012, wishful thinking of a 5yr old

This morning getting Logan up for school he had to stop and pee. And then...
Logan: AAAAaaaack. Moooooom
Me: (tire, eyes mostly still closed) what did you pee on?
Logan: Just, I don't want to talk about this now. I have to get ready for school.
Me: See you after school, you can clean the bathroom later.
Logan: You could do it while I'm gone and be like SURPRISE its clean!!
Me: riiiight
So Logan has been in the bathroom with Scrubbing Bubbles for 1/2 hour scrubbing the toilet, (inside and out) bathtub, sink, and floor. (dressed in a fireman suit for saftey)

Jan 20, 2012, the sickness

Logan is an overtired sniffling, phlegmy, coughing, crying mess. These adenoids can't come out soon enough. He doesn't have an infection (we went to the ENT Monday) but its just constantly gross and miserable. Poor guy.

Jan 22, 2012 more enunciation

We went to Target and the beach today. If you ask Kendal, we went "Shopping, Bitch"

Jan 25, 2012 artwork

Kendal let me sleep in this morning. When she finally woke me up at 10:30 she had a full sleeve tattoo from what appeared to be sharpie. Luckily it washed off in the bath.

Jan 26, 2012 its not that hard!

My 5yr old just spent 40min crying and yelling about having to write 2 sentences as homework. And NO you can't have a cupcake, or a Twinkie, OR another cheese stick. I see bedtime in the very near future. 

Jan 27, 2012 best friends are important

Happy 5th Birthday to Logan's best friend, Elephant! Pizza and peanuts for dinner, brownies for desert and Shelly the Turtle, Sheep, and Pilly the Pillow all came to the party. Nothing like a party for a stuffed animal to get the kids excited!

Jan 29, 2012 the day before surgery

Logan is very nervous about tomorrow. So he is loud and twitchy, drumming and rather obnoxious. I don't have the heart to yell at him because tomorrow wont be fun or loud at all.

Jan 30, 2012 Doomsday (tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy)

Dr. just took him back to get started. We don't get to see him on laughing gas. Bummer.

Been in recovery for about a 1/2 hour. Coughing sounds like it hurts! The little boy next to us just told him mom she is mean and he doesn't like her anymore. haha. He also doesn't like the Dr. anymore. 
Liquid morphine face

FINALLY got Logan's script filled... 3 hours, 5 pharmacies, and 2 phone calls to the Dr. later... well we got 1/3 of the medicine but it should last a couple days. He's just relaxing and singing Beatles songs to himself and eating more mac n cheese. The good stuff hasn't worn off yet.

Jan 31, 2012 recovery

Kiddo wouldn't take his prescription Tylenol at 10. Now he's awake and crying because his nose is runny and this throat and ears hurt. I gave him the regular chew-able stuff, now he can't have the liquid until 2am. And he doesn't like it because it tastes bad. Codine jello shots anyone?

Watching the boys try to play board games. Loopy is on Prednisone and other sinus meds (its a family thing..) Logan is on Codine. Between the two of them they have NO idea whose turn it is EVER. I imagine this is what game night is like at the old folks home. Except there is a front end loader on the table to help with the Jenga game. 

Feb 2, 2012 sad.

The hardest part of this whole ordeal with Logan is sitting here at 2:15am listening to him in his room cough and then cry because it hurts. Or gag because of his stuffy nose and whimpering all night. There is nothing I can do to make it better.
Take your dang meds!!

Feb 3, 2012 ew

Kendal my love, I am so happy that you are trying new things (Blueberry Eggos) but do you have to dip them in Ketchup? That's gross.

Feb 5, 2012

This evening was way too stressful and I am so over it. Logan does NOT like any medicine I offer him. His ear feels "like it might rupture again" (that happend last year) When I got ahold of the Dr. on call he was shocked that the kid hasn't taken anything for pain in a couple days. He recommended we keep making him take it so he can have some relief. This didn't go well. I think he had a full blown panic attack over it. Anyway. no meds again tonight and he can't stay asleep. Sigh. See also "Logan's Letter to Dr. Maddern."

Logan's letter regarding the taste of Hydrocodone 

Dear Dr. Maddern.
     My name is Logan. That medicine that you gave me tastes really really (add another one mom) really gross. It smells like straberries but it tastes bad. Its that medicine that you gave me. It makes my throat feel gross. 
      I would like it to taste better, like something that wouldn't taste bad as much. My mom and dad make me take it anyway but I hate it. This night I REALLY (in capitals, right?) didn't want to take it. I am going to drink it now, but I still hate it. Its tastes like the grossest thing in my life. And its really bad.
Logan

Feb 6, 2012, I don't know where she gets it

Kendal will only ride her motorcylce (big wheel) wearing her leather jacket.
biker chick

Feb 7, 2012, other peoples kids

Hanging out at home with 2 two year olds and a 5yr old. FUN NITE! Except Logan is being whiney and Kendal is at the kitchen table eating with Joey with her legs on the table saying "I farted, I farted" Sorry to Maggie and Jay. My kids are a bad influence. YOUR kid is sitting here eating all her dinosaur chicken and Mini Wheats like an angel. 
Joey and Kendal

Feb 10, 2012 sibling love

Kendal just pistol whipped Logan with a nerf gun because he wouldn't let her play Animusic. He was already pissy and this isn't helping. I need one of those tranquilizer guns and a tall glass of wine.

Feb 11, 2012 duh

While doing a word search
Logan: I've got this, I'm a trained professional.
Me: Oh yeah? Who trained you?
Logan: No one. I'm not a dog, mom.

Feb 12, 2012 laundry sucks

A kid left an orange crayon in a pocket. Now there is melted crayon on pretty much ALL their clothes, including all Logan's uniform pants, shirts, and hoodies. Awesome. 

Feb 13, 2012, me too kid.

Logan at 3:00 am when I went to put away the few clothes that were't stained with melted crayon.
"I love nighttime."

later that day...

Watching Loopy play football on the Wii makes Kendal take off her pants and run in circles. Interesting, but not at all surprised. 

Feb 14, 2012 what Grandpas are for

Logan is reading ALL his valentines to Grandpa. Your welcome Grandpa Styf. ahahahaha

Feb 15, 2012, good girl

Kendal is making 'coffee' for her baby doll, feeding it to her on a spoon in a highchair. She'll make an awesome mommy some day...

Feb 17, 2012, super girl

Apparently cracking her head open makes Kendal more crazy and louder. Sorry you had to deal with that Jessica. She is fine. Nurse Grandma Styf said she probably won't need stitches. Pretty impressive gash back there though! This girl is invincible even when bloody.
wound, day 2

Feb 20, 2012, my girl

This is funnier every time you watch it. Kendal: The Honey Badger.

Feb 27, 2012, Seriously?

Loopy is home sick. Poor guy. I took Logan to school, he told me that I am way nicer than dad in the morning. Those of you who know me know that is crazy talk.

March 3, 2012 

Today's kid-isms
Logan: Hey did you know that there is a girl named Mary Glenn
Me: Yes, I know that, why?
Logan: Because I met her. She's nice... a lot.

Kendal: Change this diaper, I pooped.
Me: (quick check) No, you didn't.
Kendal: I farted. gross. That's really stinky.

Later that night....

My to do list for the rest of the night includes ignoring ALL the toys on the floor, finishing off this box of Samoas that I just opened, maybe chillin in the hot tub, and reading my book. Loopy just showed up to help with the Samoas. I like him, so I'll share.
aaaaah.....

March 4, 2012, how to unwind

My to do list after these hyper kids go to bed is the same as last night. Only I shall eat the Tagalongs because the Samoas are gone. 

March 5, 2012, an observation

Scott Ultra Soft toilet paper is NOT ultra soft. I thought that to myself the other day. but today when I asked Logan if he wanted to use the flushable wipes his answer was "No, because I like using this stuff. Its like being in the wilderness! Or using a paper towel or something cause its so scratchy!" 

March 6, 2012, a teachable moment

Kendal: Look at his grass vacuum!
Me: That's a lawn mower.

March 9, 2012, a revelation

Logan JUMPS into the car after school.
Logan: MOM! Guess what I leaned at school today!?
Me: What!? (because he never tells me anything about his day, I was excited)
Logan: This morning, during circle time, I realized that I am a REAL transformer! And a REALLY cool one.
Me: Oh yeah? What do you turn into?
Logan: A ROCK!! Once I figured it out, I showed the whole class and they were like "Whoa!"
Me: wow
I don't have a picture of him as a transformer rock. But this is what he made in art class that day!
Pam Anderson the Seahorse in seaweed jail.

March 10, 2012, the battle

Catching up on cleaning. This is an uphill battle I don't think I can ever win. Everything is sticky and crunchy. Kendal just dumped a box of sprinkle cookies on the floor.. the little rolley kind that scatter under the fridge and oven. She tried to help by licking them off the floor. Gross.

March 14, 2012, punishments

Logan was grounded from tv today for misbehaving in class, not doing his work, pushing another student, and slamming another kid's finger in a drawer. When he got home he wrote on the couch with a pen. I made him write "I will make better choices." 5 times to give to his teacher tomorrow. He is pretty sure I am the worst mom ever.

March 15, 2012, regarding punishments

Follow-up conversation with Logan regarding yesterday's punishment.
When this conversation started I thought it had something to do with the show on adoption he was watching earlier. Turns out he was weighing his options.
Logan:What does adoption mean?
Me: (afraid I would somehow get this wrong) Adoption is when a baby or kid needs a better home and family because their's isn't very good or they need help. So parents who want to love and care for a baby or kid adopt him or her to take care of. They become a family.
Logan:Since I don't like this family very much when you tell me I can't play the Wii because I get in trouble, I think you should make me adopted.
Me: Really? Ok. But then you can't be in this family at all anymore.
Logan: Not even to visit?
Me: Nope. AND you probably have to move away and go to a different school, and learn the new family's rules. They will probably have more.
Logan: (after much consideration) Ok, I'll stay, just dn't ground me anymore. That wasn't a good day.
Me: Can  we agree that you'll just follow the rules in this family and stay out of trouble?
Logan: Yeah, I guess.

March 17, 2012, personal hygiene 

OMG. Logan just gave himself the worst haircut ever!!
"because, I saw the hair scissors there..."

March 18, 2012, playing mommy and more hygiene

Kendal is feeding her baby doll coffee. Baby's name is Baldy. For obvious reasons I guess. Now off to get Logan another new haircut. Maybe it will grow out enough by summer for another mohawk. That's what he's hoping anyway. 

March 22, 2012, the mustache craze

The way Kendal says mustache cracks Logan up. she is sitting here yelling MUSHDASH over and over. Even made a little song about it. This has also become her battle cry when jumping off something tall onto something hard. MUSHDASH!!!

March 23, 2012, chivalry 

Logan picked me flowers and my house smells amazing.
Jasmine and something purple :)


March 27, 2012, personal space

So I got this big new sectional couch. Looks great, lots of room to spread out. Where are the kids? Sitting on either side of me so close that I can't move my arms.

April 3, 2012, 2yr old compromise 

Me: Why are you crying?
Kendal: So sad. 
Me: What would make you happy?
Kendal: Yogan's new Yeddow truck!
Me: You can't have that, he just bought it.
Kendal: What about DAT!?
Me: My Mountain Dew?
Kendal: Yeah, Mt. Dew SODA makes me happy and not crying. I"m get a sippy cup, K? (skips off to the kitchen and returns with a sippy and a big smile.)
I don't know where she gets this personality ;)

April 5, 2012, young love

This morning I told Logan we are going to the beach with his 2 favorite girls. Marissa and Breezy. So he went right to work drawing a picture of him and B getting married, which he proudly presented to her upon arrival after a long hug. Once we were on the beach he was overheard saying "Breezy, do you want to marry me? I mean once you are older, and more experienced."

Oh, earlier in the day he asked me how people decide to get married. I told him usually the girl wants to get married first, but they have to wait for the boy to get around to asking. 

April 11, 2012, space travel

Once a year I order a LOT of books from Scholastic. Logan is currently educating Kendal on planets and space exploration at a 4-5th grade reading level. Kendal points to the pictures and says "what's that?" He reads the caption. She's losing interest but he's excited that so much happened in July 1969.

April 14, 2012, random thought of the day

Brought to you by "Felix the Cat, who has 11 letters in his name" 
Logan: Mexico is where Indians live. They play djembes.

another random thought....

When Logan says cement truck, it sounds like some-mint truck. When he was little I'd randomly hear him in the back seat asking for some mints please. So I'd hand him whatever mints I had and he always loked at me funny. Finally one day he asked why I always give him mints when he asks for them from a cement truck... Apparently he was pretty sure that a some-mint truck has little candies that it mixes up with a minty powder and that makes mints and they dump down the ramp in the back when they get to the packaging plant. (he also used to watch How Its Made A LOT)

April 15, 2012, a little direction

Kendal: I'll take my pants off.
Me: Why?
Kendal: Cause its so funny. 
Me: No its not, please leave your pants on.
Kendal: oh, Ok, mom.

April 19, 2012, I love this boy, he's a genius!

Logan: Kendal will be 3 at the end of the month. Wouldn't it be nice if she could go to daycare all day? I'll be a school and dad will be at work.
Me: What I am gonna do? Won't I get lonely?
Logan: Just think of all that peace! You could watch whatever you want all day and just relax, like, you could watch Dr. Phil! I guess you could still do the dishes and stuff like that. BUT with peace and quiet!!

April 23, 2012, outings

Stomp was awesome. Logan loved it and we confirmed Kendal can sleep thru anything. And Scott must be really comfy!

April 24, 2012, noises in the night

Somewhere in this room there is a dying happy meal toy that sounds possessed. Its like a groaning noise followed by a chipper little voice with demonic distortion. It might be from Ice Age? No Idea.

April 27, 2012 lunch please and other hospital visits

Happy Birthday to my funny, happy, beautiful baby girl. 3 years ago today all Loopy wanted for lunch was some chicken nuggets.... 
Birthday dinner!

(The day Kendal was born, my amazing photography friend Jessie was going to document the event. Being ever polite she asked if we wanted anything for lunch. Thinking we had plenty of time Loopy ordered chicken nuggets. 15min later she was in the room with a bag of food and Kendal was already out and eating lunch. She was born about 5 min after we got off the phone.)

3yrs later....

At the ER with Logan. Face meets fence gate. Stitches for sure. 
Waiting for the Dr.

(this day ended with Logan getting 8 stitches to put his eyebrow back in place. After checking himself in the mirror he decided it was SO Metal. He instantly went to work putting together a metal band make up of our Dr and nurses making sure to assign them all instruments. My amazing friends to the rescue as always! Thanks for the ride to the ER!!)


"THIS IS SO METAL"
April 30, 2012, let downs

I think Logan was a little disapointed that the girls at his table didn't think that his stitches are rock n roll. "They thought I looked creepy. But they'll just have to keep lookin at 'em until they get taken out on Wednesday" You tell 'em little man! That's rock n roll.

May 1, 2012, unreasonable

Kendal is on the floor crying because I won't take her to Target to buy a "big pink bird" This morning she decided she needs another toy. It must be pink and a bird. Maybe a pink flamingo for the lawn. Think Loopy will notice?

May 3, 2012, Dr's are rich because of my family

I have a pounding headache. Almost time to pick up Logan and get the stitches out. Hoping this goes smoothly. Also going to ask the Dr. what is up with this cough. It started around Saturday and is pretty bad today. Hoping he didn't pick something up at the ER when we GOT the stitches. yay kids.

later that day....

Well that sucked. After waiting for an hour he got all nervous and then freaked the frack out. Anyway, stitches are out, scar is prominently displayed on his face forever and we all deserved some ice cream. 

May 7, 2012, psycho

Baby girl is in rare form today. She trashed the living room, dumped her milk, knocked everything off the end table, and has Bellatrix Lestrange hair. Is it bedtime yet?

May 8, 2012 are you drunk?

Kendal got Logan's cold. She had a stuffy nose and asked for medicine. I gave her the leftover stuff from her last cold. It makes her act all weird and then she passes out. I think she's drunk. How is this better for her than the over the counter stuff they don't sell anymore? Oh well, yay for early naps.

May 9, people of wal*mart and homework

Today at Walmart this really old guy on a motor scooter crashed into me and Kendal because he was texting. Then the check out lady had to call for assistance because she was afraid of Kendal's OBVIOUSLY fake neon orange and green snake. Love me some walmart!

And why do 5yr olds suddenly come down with mystery ailments that prevent homework? Tonight Logan's let hurt SO bad that he couldn't do his homework or even get up to peeeeee. So I helped him to the bathroom and told him his leg won't effect his homework ability. But WAIT! When he moves his arm, his leg hurts worse! Weird. So I put him to bed. 

May 13, 2012, Mothers day

Back to reality tomorrow. Slept off a migrane this morning and had a late lunch at Golden Lion and went for a looooong bike ride. Kendal was dressed as Jessie from Toy Story 2. Logan had on a mustache he bought at the dollar store. Logan decorated a cake for me. (Whoa frosting and sprinkles!) it was a great day! Can I just keep Loopy home for like a week? Think anyone would notice?
My mother's day date

May 14, 2012, the day after

The only problem with taking the 'day off' for Mother's day is there are twice the dishes and laundry and vacuuming the next day. Sigh

May 15, 2012, question of religion

Sometimes I wish I had a little voice recorder on hand to catch the things Logan says. He just came out of his room having apparently read his children's Bible. (when he was supposed to be sleeping) He wanted me to know that sometimes when it rains really hard its because God's thinking about re-flooding the earth. But then after a while re remembers he can't do that. Why? Because no one has one of those giant arcs anymore and doves don't just go hunting for olive branches!

May 21, 2012, quotable movies

Overheard while the kids were playing outside (Ice age reference, Dodo bird scene)
Kendal: Ow! I got hurt, fell off my ball. (just laying there)
Logan: Well there goes our last female...

May 22, 2012, persuasive... 

Kendal pointing at me: Say yes, mom.
Me: No, I don't know what you are talking about.
Kendal: Just say yes, mom
Me: No way! I won't agree to whatever you are trying to get.
Kendal: say YES!
Me: Why?
Kendal: Because, say yes.
Me: Ok, fine. Yes.
Kendal: YAY! Sprinkle cookies for breakfast and a popsicle
WHAT!?

May 24, 2012, roll playing

Some sweet little 3yr old girls will pretend to be princesses, fairies, or even dogs and cats. Not mine. Today she is Mr. Bean. I have been told to refer to her only as Mr. Bean or Sir. Her Mr. Bean voice is shockingly accurate and she falls down a lot. 

May 29, 2012, well he offered...

On our way to Savannah
Logan: Mom, want to watch me punch myself in the face?
Me: No thank you.
Kendal: Oh nuts.

May 30, 2012, sugar

Kendal got into the sprinkle cookies again and chugged a large cup of apple/carrot juice. Whoa sugar buzz. Just to give you an idea, she is running in circles on the couch and ottoman and is making me tickle her sippy cup and squealing like only a 3yr girls can.

June 3, 2012, domestic engineer

Loopy is learning to sew so he can put patches on Logan's cub scout uniform. After struggling with the pins for like an hour he came out looking VERY proud of himself. He stapled the patch to the shirt (LOTS of staples) to hold it in place. He's been sewing on ONE patch for about 3 hours. And this is just practice. He's an awesome dad for trying so hard. I have a feeling he's going to just staple all the patches on.

June 8, 2012, damn doors

So far this evening we have only one injury. Logan 'forgot' to hold the door open for Kendal and it cracked her forehead open. She was fine after 3min and wanted to go outside. (still bleeding) Logan cried for 20 minutes because it was so bloody and he felt bad. Then another 10mins because he didn't want his friend Sean to start feeling bad (knows Sean is sensitive like that) Now Logan won't look at his sister because of flashbacks to the day at the park. I hope Adriana remembers the wine tonight!

June 13, 2012, rough day

In the last 1/2 hour Logan has had 2 meltdowns. One because he hit himself in the face while standing in the kitchen (!?!?!) And my personal favorite, he was walking on the porch and stepped on a plastic garden hoe which sprung up cartoon style and nailed him in the junk. How am I supposed to keep a strait face?

later that day...

At the Hair Cuttery waiting for Logan to get his Mohawk. He was worried that he would never recover from this afternoon's injuries. He seems to be better, talking the stylist's ear off. 
Before
after

The Hawk


June 15, 2012, in general

I hate the Power Rangers

June 21, 2012, the future of love

Today Logan told me that when he gets married he's "moving out of state and taking his wife to Denver, Breezy will LOVE it out there"

June 22, 2012, passive aggression

Listening to Logan and Kendal bug the handyman who is fixing the threshold by the back doors. I would normally tell them to let the guy work, but since I am irritated that he has been here to measure 4 times in the last month and STILL brought the wrong stuff, I am letting them 'help'.

June 23, 2012, 4 more days...

It is wrong that even though Loopy is having his 4th sinus surgry next week I am excited to have a hotel suite to myself without kids yelling, fighting, and jumping for 4 days!? 

June 25, 2012, 2 more days... 

This day can end any time now... Kendal emptied every box in the play room this morning... Onto the living room floor. Loopy dropped a shot glass in the garbage disposal last night, turned it on, then just left it. Now the disposal doesn't work and it's filled with glass. (The worlds WORST handyman will be here tomorrow to fix that and the rest of the threshold. It'll give Logan something to do) Logan spilled an entire blueberry strawberry banana smoothie on the new couch. We went to Mc Donald's to play and EVERY child in palm coast was at the playplace. Now the kids are smashing an entire bag of peanuts on the kitchen table and shells are everywhere. He insists Elephant will clean them up. Its not even time for the 3:00 crazies!

June 26 2012, Tropical storm Beryl

Looking at a picture of the storm is not impressive at all. Logan turned on the weather channel and he is GLUED. Now we are in danger of epic flooding, the whole state might wash away. There is even a sink hole somewhere along I-10 (not ON the road) that is a whopping 6ft wide. They make is sound like we aren't going to make it through this. I told him that unless Jim Cantore is reporting from our town we are good. 
Beryl

July 5, 2012, southerners. bless their hearts

Face/palm moment of the day happened at the pool this evening. A sweet lady was politely listening to Logan's endless babble. She looked at me and said in the sweetest Savannah drawl "isn't he just adorable and has SO much to say, Bless his heart." 

July 11, 2012, exhaustion

Back home after another 6hr road trip AND the Dr. was running 2hrs behind schedule. Logan is having a sleepover with his buddy Sean. Which really consists of Logan reading random facts about books while Sean tells him to be quiet so he can get some sleep. Current subject matter is water. How much water is in human cells, under water waterfalls, and the actual shape of a raindrop ect ect

July 12, 2012 more exhaustion

I am thinking early bedtime tonight. Both kids keep telling me they are tired. 
Funny Kendal-ism: whenever something falls, breaks, or tips over she says "oooh poop" I am glad she doesn't use the words I do!

July 13, 2012 even more exhaustion

When these nearly first graders get together they constantly talk like robot babies. I am not sure how else to describe it. Why is that? Also Kendal went to be early last night. YAY. BUT she was awake at 4am becuse Kendals apparently only need 8hrs of sleep. She woke me up every 15 min to get her something or help her find something until 10:30 when she passed out on the floor surrounded by overturned furniture and toys. Sigh. Need more coffee please. 
that must have been exhausting. Logan was the one to forget pants this day.

July 14, 2012 party like a rock star

Logan decided that he doesn't want a birthday party. Instead he wants to stay at a Motel 6 (cause he's turning 6, of course) We discussed this a couple months ago and hoped he'd forget. He didn't. So next weekend we'll be in Orlando staying at the Uber-classy I-drive Motel 6. Then a day at wet n wild.

July 15, 2012, so confusing

Loopy: I am going to Jon's to get my twin
Logan: Does he look like you? Have we ever met him? What's his name?
Loopy: Its a guitar amp, you've seen it before.
Logan: We should name it Mr. Noisy. Will he be coming over?
Loopy: I think we are misunderstanding each other

later that day....

Kids are sleeping.. well in their rooms anyway. Last time I checked on Logan he looked startled and asked why I was there. He was licking his arm and then tried to explain why. I just said "Love you" and left. 

And I think that takes us up to well... today. Technically its Logan's birthday. This small person is a 6yr old!! Lots to do in the morning so I am going to bed. Night All!!!


Welcome to the crazy!

A little bit of history....




My name is Kara. I am the stay at home mom of two hysterical, witty, smart, whiny, obnoxious, crazy... I'm getting off track here. My wonderful husband Jeff (aka Loopy) is a severe workaholic and has been with the same company for 17 years. And he is only 34. That is crazy to me. He is also an extremely talented musician and super hubby extraordinaire. We've been married 10yrs. BUT this blog isn't about us, its about our kids and the funny stuff they say.
My kids are awesome. They make me laugh every day with crazy antics. Logan is 5. He will be 6  in 2 days. More on that later.
First I'll tell you about Logan. He started talking (sign language) at a crazy young age and his little brain fascinates me. His best friend is a stuffed elephant named "Elephant". He goes everywhere with us. Logan is the sweetest most polite child you will ever meet unless he is hungry. Then he's an ass. He's an avid reader and loves everything to do with outer space. He remembers EVERYTHING, much like his friend Elephant. I have written down the things he says that crack me up since he was around 4. The list has gotten quite long and I've been told to write a book. Who does that anymore? So I will blog it out. Usually he is being quite serious when he says something quotable. There are so many Logan-isms and I am certain there will be just as many Kendal-isms.
 Kendal is 3. She has red hair and all the assumed personality traits of a 3yr old red head. She enjoys jumping off tall things onto hard things. There is no fear in this child. Around the age of 2 she stopped eating like a normal human. I often wonder how she truly survives on milk,meat, and cereal. Seriously, she WONT eat fruits and veggies of any kind. Thank God for vitamins and high fiber cereal. Before you get preachy about how "I'm the grown up here" I will ask if you have personally had this specific problem. It is physically impossible to make a 2 or 3 yr old try new food. Her favorite toy is also an elephant, but in true Kendal form it is a hard leather elephant meant to be home decor. It has very sharp tusks. They hurt.
 I'll go back to when I started to write it all down and add pictures where necessary once my wonderful hubby puts them back on the my hard drive (wipe and restore) I hope you are as amused as I am. If not, you'll find a blog you like better so my feelings wont really be hurt at all. (you should also know I am not easily offended and don't care too much what people think)



I started keeping a log when this happened on April 26, 2010. This was a rant I typed on my FB page:

Monday Logan was pretending to talk on the phone and was screaming things like "I hate you, shut up, don't talk to me, just leave me alone" My parents were in town this week and witnessed this. Of course they were not happy and the assumption is that he learned it from me. I got the whole "well he will repeat everything you say, even when you think he isn't listening" speech.
For the record, I HATE very few people in life. I certainly wouldn't be on the phone screaming at them like that. I was pretty taken aback by his outburst too. He is normally a very sweet boy. As compassionate as you can expect from a 3yr old. Turns out he was reciting a commercial for out of control and disrespectful teens. The commercial is on during his favorite Science Channel shows (How Its Made and Factory Made)
In short, my son learned how to say terrible and disrespectful things watching an ad for correcting terrible behavior. I should write a letter to the dumbass behind this ad. Especially if part of their system is eliminating vulgar and violent television. So Thank you James Lehman, Behavioral Therapist. I appreciate your Epic Commercial Fail. Now my son thinks its ok to tell people he hates them and yell it in their face. He is 3 and doesn't understand its just a commercial for naughty kids.
Here's a link for you! Epic Commercial Fail

This was taken from May 9, 2010

Last night I went to Target with a friend. When I got home Logan and Daddy had been writing songs and brainstorming song titles.There were little post it notes everywhere with the names of songs. This is what they came up with. 

Conversations With Friendly Hair
Push Pen
Leather Can Sometimes Look Black
Shucks
Waking Up Big
About the Topic of Bowls
Wearing Socks That Are Too Tight
Cross the Street Quickly
Standing on the Shoulders of Giants
Big As the Moon
Can You See the Clock Ticking
Surprise Me
You
Maybe the Travel Pillow Can Play Guitar
We All Live in a Yellow Submarine

I am pretty sure that last one was taken, but will probably be a remake. 

Before I go on...

I should tell you that when something funny or weird happens around here I put it as a status update on Facebook. (like pretty much everyone with internet) We have friends and family all over the country so this is a way for them to keep up and for me to keep track of the days.These next few tidbits are from status updates over the last couple years. Some are quote from kids and some are just the observations of the mom. 

March 3, 2010, on insomnia 

Logan was up at 4am because the dragon wouldn't leave him alone. Even when the knight "fwapped him with his fwapper"... so he had to walk thru "the scary liver-ing room" (living room) to get us and let me know

March 11, 2010, serious problems

This morning Logan went to go pee and kept saying "how did the frog get in the potty?" it took a few times to register (lack of coffee) but sure enough, there was a big ol tree frog in the potty. He said "the most important question is how do we get the frog OUT of the potty? I already peed on it" 
Say hello to my little friend

July 17, 2010, A typical morning.

Just sat down to enjoy a cup of coffee and breakfast with Kendal while the boys sleep in. She shoved her Eggo in her mouth and left me here.

July 20, 2010, a warning

If you give a 4yr old Flavor Explosion Mac and Cheese he will get it EVERYWHERE and blame it on "the dang exploding noodles"


July 23, 2010, a revelation

I am pretty sure that kids are made of crumbs. The more intense the emotions, the more crumbs mysteriously 
are shed from their bodies. They also seem to have some sort of sticky dispensers on them.

July 30 2010, the definition of siblings

Kendal is terrified of Logan's whoopee cushion and he says that makes is so much more fun. Seriously, she runs screaming from the room and climbs me like a frightened kitten

August 4, 2010, on self control

Logan just got in trouble hitting me in the face when I told him to settle down (needed food) Once he was out of 'time out' he apologized and said his temper got away from him and he didn't see that coming.

August 16, 2010, on self image

Logan just got a hair cut at a real place without freaking out. He must be growing up or something. His goal was to "look cool and get spikey hair". When another kid at the grocery store said "Mom, that kid looks SO cool!!" Logan about fell over with giddyness.
Mr. Cool himself

March 17, 2010



If your 3yr old seems to be taking a long time in the bathroom its a good idea to check on them. Logan decided to Shampoo his hair while pooping. This is how middle of the day baths happen. It coulda been worse I guess.


August 23, 2010, more commercialism 

Logan: Tomorrow is my big baseball game
Me: Really, I didn't know you play baseball.
Logan: Yeah, so we should get some Oxy-clean just in case my clothes get stained. 

August 23, 2010, first day of preschool

Logan: I want to be a teacher when I am a grown up.
Me: why?
Logan: Because I know everything


Oct 10, 2010, why we need dads

Logan watching daddy play a video game: Look at those boobies!! aren't they awesome?!
Daddy: dont you mean buoys? Those things floating in the water?
Logan: oh yea, those.

Oct 13, 2010, The Bealtes!

So Loopy and Logan were playing guitars and singing Help from the Beatles (their favorite band) Kendal was crying because she wanted a guitar too. She threw herself on the floor and Logan says "Hey, are you feeling down? Help her get her feet back on the ground!" He's so witty... 

Oct 15 2010, on prayer

Logan: Mom, when you see God can you tell him the sun is really too bright?
Me: What do you want him to do about it?
Logan: Turn it down!
Me: Well, God made sunglasses so you can just wear those. 
Logan: No, the men at the sunglesses factory made them. Can you please just ask?

Sometimes preschool is very enlightening!

Me: Hey Logan! Look, a butterfly!
Logan: Mom. That is a compound word. Butter and Fly. Did you know that? A compound word is when you take two words that are totally different and put'em together to make a word. BUTTERFLY!!
In other preschool news, Logan is "not the trouble maker in class and hasn't been a trouble maker for years.. but a kid named Ethan is" 

Why spelling is important..

Logan informed me that he can't be my son because he "isn't THAT bright!" I had to write down Son and Sun and show him the difference. 


For some reason, I lost a few months of quotes. When I find them, I'll fill you in...

June 11, 2011, in general

I hate Barney

June 14, 2011, father daughter bonding

Loopy is playing Kendal some guitar so she will fall asleep. Its not working cause she is saying WOO HOOO cause she loves a good concert. But its sweet anyway

Later that night....

I'm gonna get a nephew tomorrow! Good luck to Jeffy and Sarah. On a side note, the father daughter serenade didn't work. She is standing next to me eating a cracker. I am not sure where she got it.

June 16, 2011, a typical day

3:00 crazies (that special time of day all SAHMs love) got here early today. Wonderful. Its too hot to play outside. But on a positive note, my laptop is still working after Kendal threw it across the tile floor when she was mad at me. It even dislodged the crumb from under the letter p.

June 30, 2011, early addictions and 2yr olds

Kendal went and got a sippy cup then threw a tantrum when I wouldn't fill it with coffee. She ran in her room crying and slammed the door

later that day....

Watching Kendal do somersaults off the ottoman. You know how they say "she'll only do it once" when a kid is about to do something dangerous? That is not true. And Logan just asked me if I'd like to feel his teeth. Um, NO? I think the rainy weather is starting to get to them.

July 20, 2011, the 5yr old imagination

Playing in the sprinkler in the front yard.
Logan: Lets pretend the water is bleach!
Go ahead kids, play in the bleach fountain.

July 28, 2011, nostalgia 

Logan just asked to watch Powerpuff girls. I heart this kid and I am thankful for Boomerang on demand

August 14, 2011, 2:23am

Kendal just woke up from what she apparently thought was a very good nap

August 19, 201, nerdiness is hereditary

Logan is reading Wii game manuals. His nerdiness would make his dad proud. The fact that he is comprehending a manual makes me both proud and worried

August 25, 2011, predicting the future

This morning Logan cried and threw a fit. He wanted to stay home and play LEGO Star Wars on the Wii. So begins the next 13 yrs of our lives. 

August 29, 2011, Blue's Clues is educational, right?

Logan: Whoa, that car just ran a red light! That driver's gonna be like "I just got a letter, I just got a letter, I just got a letter! Wonder who its from!?" Oh crap, its a ticket from when I ran that red light.

September 7, 2011, rough day

This morning Logan told me it will be a rough day cause his socks are on the wrong feet

September 8, 2011, relocating with kids

Kids rooms done. Office done. Kitchen is a mess, our room is a mess, living room is a mess, Apparently "packing to move" translates to "dump everything you own on the floor and scatter it" in 2yr old speak. 

September 12, 2011, a future in directing?

Logan: Mom, why doesn't Charlie and the Chocolate Factory have bloopers?
Me: like what? 
Logan: Like when Charlie Bucket is adding ingredients in class and it doesn't blow up, he has to add more and more and more.. then it EXPLODES! OR when Willy Wonka says "OPEN THE GATES" they just don't. OR when he says "UP AND OUT" in the great glass elevator they don't break thru, they just bump the ceiling and fall down. Then Willy Wonka would say "oh crap".

September 19, 2011, 2yr old on cleaning

Dear 2yr old, If you can't get the movies to fit into the dvd book, ask for help. Although I appreciate you wanting to clean up after yourself, breaking the movies in half so they would fit, although effective, wasn't the best plan.

September 27, 2011 8:30pm

Kendal has been sleeping since 5:30 and refuses to wake up. Its gonna be a long night. I think she's still a little sickly. Poor baby, exhausted mommy. Logan however is brushing his teeth while wearing a ski hat with pom pom horns and giggling to himself. This has been going on for some time.

September 28, 2011, sigh

5yr old pranks: Logan took 3 days worth of wet newspapers from the driveway and stuck them all over my car

October 24, 2011, they can't all be great

Today Logan decided that he wanted the training wheels off his bike. We spent the morning and most of the afternoon practicing in the yard. Then he got in trouble and got his bike privileges revoked for the rest of the day. Bummer for him. In other news, Kendal likes to tip things over to see how loud they can be. Chairs, Tables, drums, $2000 guitars... (I caught that one from across the room) Little frustrated with parenthood today and I would like a nap.

November 5, 2011, childhood trauma

Went to the festivities in Flagler tonight and I told Logan he could go play on the blow up obstacle coarse. He was gone for about 10min and I went to get him. Turns out he needed $1 to play and ran off to find us. In the wrong direction. I found him a couple minutes later with a group of EMTs sobbing uncontrollably. He swore he'd NEVER leave me again and hung on me like a monkey for 20mins. Disaster was averted and we ended up having a good time. I'll be hearing about this one for a LONG time. 

November 7, 2011, a word of advice

To all the other parents who were told to ignore a tantrum.. Its a good idea to look over once in a while to see if everything is ok. Logan and Kendal were fighting and Logan ran into the playroom and shut the door. Kendal went into tantrum mode. I ignored her for 3 or 4 minutes, looked over at her and her face and hands were covered in blood. She bit her lip when she threw herself to the floor. She is ok, but that was messy, but certainly added to the 'poor me' effect.

November 8, 2011, dinner conversations/random thoughts

Logan: Sorry that took so long, I was licking the wall because my pizza rolls were too spicy. Then I had to find my nutcracker

Logan: Dad, you should take your glasses off when you shave because that would be easier.

Logan: I know about everything. Well, almost. Why do they call that stuff Knick Knacks? I will have to ask Mrs. Seguine because she's a teacher and knows everything. 

November 10, 2011, surname

Logan knows how to spell our last name. (Wroblewski) All 10 letters, even the silent ones. Not sure when he figured that out but yay. I figured he was going to be Logan W. forever.

November 15, 2011, progress, sort of

So I was giving Logan a bath and Kendal said she wanted to sit on the potty. So she got right up there and peed. I haven't started 'potty training' yet. We still need to work on wiping. She thinks the toilet paper is to wipe her nose, then her knees, then she drops it in. I am not allowed to help. Hooray for progress! 

side note, 8 months later and she regressed back to diapers. again, don't judge me. 

November 25, 2011, a typical thanksgiving

Logan is crashing cars all over the living room while Loopy is blasting circus music. I don't get nearly enough sleep. More coffee please.

November 29, 2011, in general

This day calls for another pot of coffee

December 6, 2011, what 5yr olds think about and how to fix a boo boo

On the way home from school
Logan: A pregnant fire-woman can't go down the fire pole cause it would squish the baby. She would have to use the stairs. And if it was time to have the baby she would be in the right place! Because they could just take her to the hospital in the ambulance.
Me: Did you talk about that in school or something?
Logan: no, just something I've been thinking about...

In other news, Kendal just scraped the bottom of her foot running over a toy. The band aid on her big toe (of the opposite foot) makes it "all better, thanks"


December 7, 2011, what 5 yr olds think about part 2

On the way home from school 
Logan: (out of nowhere) WE CAN USE CARROTS!!!
Me: what?
Logan: To hang our stockings! We can put some glue on them and stick em to the wall and hang the stocking from them. Wait, remember at the parade when someone put a stocking on my finger? (that did happen) We can drill a hole in the wall and put a finger thru it and hang the stockings on those!
Me: Carrots won't work?
Logan: no, they would just keep falling down and make us frustrated. 
Me: whose finger are you going to use?
Logan:(after much consideration) We can go to heaven and use fingers from people who already died, cause they aren't usin' em! Then we can come back with the fingers and use those. 
Me: gross dude.
Logan: ok, plan c. We just go to the Home Depot and get stocking holders, drill a hole in the wall and use those. 

later that day.....

Kendal has not eaten fresh fruit for more than a year. She asked for blueberries at the grocery store and the whole pint is almost gone already. YAY!! That was a looooong phase.

(side note, she is off fruit again)

December 9, 2011, lack of imagination

Just got our Elf on the Shelf from Santa. Her name is Pippi. Logan has SO many questions about the logistics of an elf that can go back to Santa every night, why touching it will make its magic go away and how it can be alive when it looks like a decoration.

December 13, 2011, looking to the future and infinant wisdom

Logan: when will I go to high school?
Me: 8 1/2 years
Logan: That's a long time. Wait, that will mean I'm 14? Is that time for puberty?
Me: probably, why?
Logan: I can't wait for puberty so I can make armpit farts. I'm gonna be great at that!

later that day....
Logan: Here's how you count by 100's. 100. Thats what grandpa taught me. 

December 16, 2011, Doctors and parenting

Logan got his throat swabbed for strep at the Dr. office today. (positive again) He told the nurse "Hey! you poked my uvula!" He also informed the Dr. that his Cochlea (inner ear) is bothering him. Dr Tui wants him for an intern.

later that day...

This kid cracks me up. Last week we watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail  (honestly, only like a 1/2 hour of it) and now Logan is walking around the house with a wagon chanting 'bring out your dead' He is so excited that dad is acting it out with him. 'I'm not dead yet, I think I'll go for a walk" Oh and today he told me that I look like and Angel when I smile at him and sound like an Angel when I sing (not true) Some one is trying to impress Santa in the home stretch.

December 25, 2011, Christmas day

Nice calm Christmas so far. Kendal is taking a Benedryl nap (she spent the night with a mosquito) and Logan is bouncing around the house on his new ball. This just in: an AC Air Hogs Helicopter, although awesome, will change the channels on the tv. So much for watching Christmas Story.

December 30, 2011, exception to the rule

After constructing a gun holster for the top of Logan's toy ambulance
Loopy: Legos can be used to fix just about problem.
Logan, without missing a beat: Except leaky pipes

That was a LOOOONG post. BUT we are all caught up to this year! I am going to bed now,  because its 3:11am. The kids will be up long before I am ready to start the day. 

NIGHT ALL!!